How to get the fiance into shooting?

[hercster]

The biggest mistakes I've seen guys make are:

1. Inadequate ear-pro
2. Guns that hurt.

Starting someone off with slugs isn't going to make them enjoy shooting.

I agree with TV. The biggest dampner is often the noise. Double up on the hearing protection or give her very good muffs. Plugs do no protect against the concussion of high pressure rounds.

At all cost, avoid the shooter with .223 or more with a full muzzle break.

One of the principles of motivation when teaching new people anything is to go for quick and easy wins. Seven yards or shorter is a good distance with a large target. I like the targets that show hits with a colourful spash like the "Shoot and See" or Dirty Bird types.

If possible, end with a coffee with other shooters so that the chatter can reinforce the fun you've just had.

Everything else has been well covered already.

[harbl_the_cat]

So a thought to my above post.

For guys, remember you're playing with fire when you mix romantic relationships with private gun ownership.

That's not to be discouraging - but I personally got burnt and I know a few guys that got burnt too and also had their guns taken away due to a messy breakup/divorce.

With a fiancée in particular, it's NOT enough to just get her into shooting. You HAVE to get her into understanding and accepting what the lifestyle of gun ownership entails. Sadly - it entails the possibility of armed government raids on your private property and the threat of jail-time over victimless paper-crimes (at worst). That said, it also entails the possibility of being part of a very exciting and fun community which I honestly belief offsets the risk of government violence (at best).

What I would also recommend is to get involved with an active club that has large events for membership - matches, fun shoots, BBQ's, fundraisers, etc. This is a bit of a generalization, but I think women are generally more community minded then men are, so it really sets their minds at ease about something seeing other's (and particularly other women) doing it too.

Moreover, with a wife/fiancée ALWAYS build and maintain that relationship above any and all other relationships. Make it the priority and if it ever seems like it's in jeopardy, do everything in your power to restore and rebuild it.

For me personally, I KNOW if I ever lose my wife, I lose ALL my guns (and I have a lot of guns). As seriously as I take gun ownership - I take my marriage even more seriously.

[awndray]

For me personally, I KNOW if I ever lose my wife, I lose ALL my guns (and I have a lot of guns).

I'm not sure I follow.

[Petamocto]

Doh. Just realized someone had revitalized this thread, so my info is now likely obsolete.

[Strewth]

Doh. Just realized someone had revitalized this thread, so my info is now likely obsolete.

Why would it be obsolete? Very good description of how to accustom the uninitiated to firearms (or really, any new/scary thing)? If at all possible, starting away from the firing line of the rifle range is best, and sitting in one's comfort zone of their living room is a great place to start.

I'm not sure I follow.

Me either? Are you worried your (after much trying, presumably now to become ex-)wife will scream blue bloody murder and get your stuff taken? Always have a buddy you can store your guns at?

[Steveo9mm]

2 words.... Walking Dead

[hercster]

"For me personally, I KNOW if I ever lose my wife, I lose ALL my guns (and I have a lot of guns). As seriously as I take gun ownership - I take my marriage even more seriously."

Huh ????

I've been married 47 years to the same woman and have always hidden things from her. My Dinky Toy and Wonder Woman collections will NEVER be found!!

If you want to give your marriage a good test, forget about guns and confess to something you did 22 years ago while in a stupor from your chemical of choice.

I'm not saying fabricate a total snow job but "storm troopers" at the door ?? Really ??

Unless it's totally safe, everything I say or do is carefully packaged by the PR / HR expert who lives in the back of my head. I didn't survive 47 years by being stupid.

[harbl_the_cat]

"For me personally, I KNOW if I ever lose my wife, I lose ALL my guns (and I have a lot of guns). As seriously as I take gun ownership - I take my marriage even more seriously."

Huh ????

I've been married 47 years to the same woman and have always hidden things from her. My Dinky Toy and Wonder Woman collections will NEVER be found!!

If you want to give your marriage a good test, forget about guns and confess to something you did 22 years ago while in a stupor from your chemical of choice.

I'm not saying fabricate a total snow job but "storm troopers" at the door ?? Really ??

Unless it's totally safe, everything I say or do is carefully packaged by the PR / HR expert who lives in the back of my head. I didn't survive 47 years by being stupid.

I hide things from my wife too BUT I don't do or hide anything that would seriously undermine or marriage.

These days, a lot of people are getting into serious romantic relationships without much long term consideration or commitment. A lot of these relationships are ending on bad terms, with one, both or multiple parties walking away with a lot of resentment and hostility towards one another.

As a gun owner, that's got to be one of the most dangerous places to be in because an angry ex has a LOT of power to get the State to take away a man's guns.

That's why I think it's important to make sure I maintain my marriage and I feel being a gun owner really enriches and causes our marriage to stay strong and grow stronger.

I'm no different than any man. I have my temptations and short comings - but if I had an affair my wife would never forgive me, run off with our children, and probably call the RCMP to take away my guns.

Furthermore, if I ignore my wife, grow distant and cold with her - eventually, I know she'll fall out of love with me and be in the right to want to separate from me - again not a place I want to be in.

Lastly (although not exclusively) if I do something unbelievably stupid - like max out a line of credit or credit card on a handful of really cool guns that I would have to pay interest on - she would be infuriated, think I'm crazy and start having doubts about or marriage.

The point I'm getting at is a healthy marriage (or steady relationship - whatever you want to call it) is absolutely critical above and beyond just getting the partner to like shooting.

It also helps getting the partner to understand and accept it. I have a great relationship with my wife and she accepts that I volunteer as a match director for days at a time, or that once a week I'll go shooting, or that I'll go to board meetings once a month.

It doesn't make her happy, but I make sure I do other things to make her happy, such as:
-buy her a house
-build up enough of an income that she can be a stay at home Mom and homeschool our kids
-compliment her regularly
-tell her how much I love her, how beautiful she is and how happy she makes me
-don't complain endlessly about how crappy my day is (that's what this place is for)
-reassure and encourage her that she's doing the right thing
-listen to her when she tells me what's on her mind, what worries her, and what her problems are
-try not to judge, criticize, or try to offer an opinion about her problems unless she explicitly asks for it
-carry out whatever reasonable task she asks me to do (take out the garbage, install shelves, call the cable company, etc.)
-take her out on romantic dates every once in a while
-take care of the kids when she feels overwhelmed so she can get time to recuperate

[harbl_the_cat]

Doh. Just realized someone had revitalized this thread, so my info is now likely obsolete.

I don't know, it sounded reasonable to me.

[Petamocto]

This thread has gotten super bizarre. I'm curious to know how the OP made out, though.