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  1. #11
    Senior Member goosesniper's Avatar
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    Firearms and Family Law advice

    Buy him a red rider bb gun and teach him on that.


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  2. #12
    Senior Member Petamocto's Avatar
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    My own 4yo son loves to help me clean my guns, but he is 100% mine so I have full say over what is good for him and what I want him exposed to.

    By accepting responsibility for someone else's kid, you have put yourself in a position to have the worst of both worlds. You have the responsibility without all of the decision making control, so either find a new girl who doesn't have any drama/baggage, or don't give the father any reason/justification to go after you.
    Last edited by Petamocto; 04-10-2015 at 06:14 PM.

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  4. #13
    Senior Member TheCenturion's Avatar
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    This isn't really 'family law,' so much as 'do you really want to draw a line in the sand with your SO over this?'

  5. #14
    Senior Member Steveo9mm's Avatar
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    sorry dude ur dating some other guys woman. at least in his mind. id hit the road while i can myself.
    MΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

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  7. #15
    Senior Member Kobs's Avatar
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    ^^^ best advice so far, come back in 4 years when she's free

    It sucks but that's the way it goes in Canada when you have money you tend to have more rights than the peoples who don't
    I'll do what I have to do and deal with the consequences of my actions later

  8. #16
    Token Female Moderator Candychikita's Avatar
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    Legal abuse is a real form of abuse, often coinciding with other forms of non physical abuse. If she is having problems with her ex and legal abuse, there are programs and options for her. Get her to reach out to a women's center or a women's shelter, as there are free programs and legal advice that specifically help women deal with this stuff. I had this issue myself and now volunteer at a women's shelter to do paperwork as an LAA for women that either can't afford it or don't know where to turn. Knowing what is a real threat and what is laughable is a HUGE confidence builder, and can shut down that legal abuse very quickly. Please let her know.

    You can talk to her about what she is comfortable with her kid knowing about firearms for his own safety and self development. You can remind her that you are licensed and authorized and have gone through the whole rigamarole to get and retain your license. You can remind her that your license authorizes you to supervise someone without his/her license, straight from handling to actually shooting firearms. Giving her solid facts to back up any defense she has to provide against her ex about why her child should learn this stuff will help. There are a lot of ground rules you can teach without even handling firearms as well, until she is comfortable defending herself and her child from her ex (verbally). The problem isn't you or the guns, it's the ex...you can help her by being logical.

    To give her hope...legal abuse is often the very last form of abuse employed by an ex partner. It means that if there were any other forms of abuse being used, they are not available. He has to use a third party to bully her, and unfortunately for him, that third party sees a lot of this crap.
    Last edited by Candychikita; 04-12-2015 at 06:14 PM.

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  10. #17
    The Gunsmithing Moderator blacksmithden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Candychikita View Post
    Legal abuse is a real form of abuse, often coinciding with other forms of non physical abuse. If she is having problems with her ex and legal abuse, there are programs and options for her. Get her to reach out to a women's center or a women's shelter, as there are free programs and legal advice that specifically help women deal with this stuff. I had this issue myself and now volunteer at a women's shelter to do paperwork as an LAA for women that either can't afford it or don't know where to turn. Knowing what is a real threat and what is laughable is a HUGE confidence builder, and can shut down that legal abuse very quickly. Please let her know.

    You can talk to her about what she is comfortable with her kid knowing about firearms for his own safety and self development. You can remind her that you are licensed and authorized and have gone through the whole rigamarole to get and retain your license. You can remind her that your license authorizes you to supervise someone without his/her license, straight from handling to actually shooting firearms. Giving her solid facts to back up any defense she has to provide against her ex about why her child should learn this stuff will help. There are a lot of ground rules you can teach without even handling firearms as well, until she is comfortable defending herself and her child from her ex (verbally). The problem isn't you or the guns, it's the ex...you can help her by being logical.

    To give her hope...legal abuse is often the very last form of abuse employed by an ex partner. It means that if there were any other forms of abuse being used, they are not available. He has to use a third party to bully her, and unfortunately for him, that third party sees a lot of this crap.
    Good advice CC. Now...I have a question along the sames lines. A friend of mine is being harassed ALL TO LIVING HELL by his ex. She has falsely accused him of everything under the sun from possessing a prohibited weapon (stun gun/taser), to malnourishing the kids when he's had them, to you name it. She has violated several court orders, including not to take the kids out of the province...which she did for 7 days without saying a word to anyone. I don't want to get into any other details, but she is one hell of a piece of work....as in, spun f---ing nuts. She wants soul custody of the kids..the end, full stop, and will stop at nothing to get it, including trying to get him sent to prison.

    Anyway...is there anywhere HE, as a male, can go to get some advice ? He fired his lawyer after the last custody court case because she was doing nothing for him...literally nothing. Before the last hearing, he had done a bunch of homework, taking all the statements that she had made to the police since the separation, and found at least a dozen times where she had contradicted herself and was lying to the police and/or the court. After her lawyer got through telling the judge what an evil dad he was (from her statements), his lawyer stood there and literally said NOTHING. No come back AT ALL...had all of the paperwork in front of her, and she said NOTHING back about all these false accusations. He lost a BIG chunk of his time with his kids over on that one.
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  11. #18
    Senior Member Foxer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blacksmithden View Post
    Good advice CC. Now...I have a question along the sames lines. A friend of mine is being harassed ALL TO LIVING HELL by his ex. She has falsely accused him of everything under the sun from possessing a prohibited weapon (stun gun/taser), to malnourishing the kids when he's had them, to you name it. She has violated several court orders, including not to take the kids out of the province...which she did for 7 days without saying a word to anyone. I don't want to get into any other details, but she is one hell of a piece of work....as in, spun f---ing nuts. She wants soul custody of the kids..the end, full stop, and will stop at nothing to get it, including trying to get him sent to prison.

    Anyway...is there anywhere HE, as a male, can go to get some advice ? He fired his lawyer after the last custody court case because she was doing nothing for him...literally nothing. Before the last hearing, he had done a bunch of homework, taking all the statements that she had made to the police since the separation, and found at least a dozen times where she had contradicted herself and was lying to the police and/or the court. After her lawyer got through telling the judge what an evil dad he was (from her statements), his lawyer stood there and literally said NOTHING. No come back AT ALL...had all of the paperwork in front of her, and she said NOTHING back about all these false accusations. He lost a BIG chunk of his time with his kids over on that one.
    A good lawyer makes all the difference. Sounds like he had a bad one. If he was in bc I could do something, but I don't know any in alberta. A GOOD lawyer can shut her down pretty quick, i've seen it more than once.

  12. #19
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    You want want to start with the Kidwise Firearms safety , free online programs
    http://www.aheia.com/serve_content.cfm?Page=Training

  13. #20
    Token Female Moderator Candychikita's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by blacksmithden View Post
    Anyway...is there anywhere HE, as a male, can go to get some advice ?
    He could have had a real crap lawyer like Foxer said, or perhaps his lawyer didn't actually need to defend against the mudslinging, either than to state it was untrue because there was no proof to the allegations. Unfortunately a lot of people don't do their homework on who the "good" lawyers are before they need them (myself included at one point), and hindsight is 20/20. They can be only as good as the information you can provide them or what you are willing to pay for -they are not superheros/detectives dedicated only to your case, and everyone watches the costs of those billable hours. The more research and information HE could dig up, the better his case can be. He knows his ex better than some lawyer he found in the phonebook...or should anyways.

    What result is he going for? He's not ever going to get her to stop lying, or fix "crazy" as she either needs to admit that to herself and get some help or she does repeated physical harm (documented) to the kids. The courts see so much crap that it will be his word against hers without proof. In his case, proof would be actually getting documentation on those court order violations etc and seeking a professional for their opinion to counteract the mud slinging if she backed it up with proof. Again, though, what does he want to achieve? To prove she's a liar, to "win"...that keeps a lot of family lawyers in business. To make things better for kids, less fighting...better.

    Community services out here provides counselling and monitoring for children in "crazy" households, by coming in as a mentor or a Big Brother/Sister or even as a parent's friend. They have a variety of people with varying backgrounds on how to help and support people.
    -Social workers see a lot of crap and a lot of damaged kids - they can provide building blocks for him to help create a safe place for kids on his time/deal with the "crazy" ex, provide a character reference for him, observe the children and parent interactions, etc etc.
    -A nutritionist to visit to counteract the malnourishment allegations, heck even the school can monitor if the kids have food or complain about hunger.
    -If he has already lost time with his kids because of the mud slinging of his ex, he can work towards substantially changing the circumstances/reasons why he lost that time (eg - anger issues? counselling, taking anger management, character references, etc etc) and can actually go back and ask for more kid time from the court. First he should try to reason with the other parent instead of using the blunt force of the legal system, because that causes stress and it just incites more rage.

    There's a real bad stigma about community services, social workers and counsellors but they are there to help and are a great support system. It's easier for them to deal with people with relatively small issues that need a little tweaking and incredibly gratifying to them professionally to see their clients succeed. They are available for men and women, but the ones at women's shelters etc are geared specifically for dealing with female mindsets and they network to provide sort of a one-stop-shop for women in need.

    Out here for legal advice there are pro bono places, and there is duty counsel at all of the courthouses...but again, he should be moving away from using the courts. It makes him appear more reasonable if he remains level headed and doesn't threaten "COURT!" every time something doesn't work out for him...try all alternate routes possible first. Oh...free mediators through community services here too, and family mediators in every courthouse here too. Very useful!
    Last edited by Candychikita; 04-14-2015 at 01:49 AM.

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