How to get the fiance into shooting?

[Airw4ves]

So, I'm looking at taking get my PAL/RPAL soon, most likely once school slows down a bit. Now I know that this is great way to get out and escape with the boys, but I thought that it would be nice if I could try and get my fiance into it as well. We don't really have many hobbies that we do together, and I think shooting might be a great way to have a common interest. I'm not saying she has to become a IPSC champion, but it would be nice to get her out to range every once and awhile to put some holes in paper. The only real problem is that she is terrified of guns, at no real fault of her own, as she never grew up around guns, and has only ever seen what our lovely media likes to show about them. She has agreed to take the course with me, I'm just wondering, do you think that having her take the course would ease her fears and make her more comfortable around firearms? Or would it be more beneficial for me to get the PAL, and the two of us take a beginner shooting class (after teaching her about basic firearm safety).

Thoughts?

[Strewth]

I've got my wife booked for her PAL/RPAL after the New Year, she grew up actively discouraged from touching firearms. After a couple of trips out to the bush (zero pressure) with the .22, then the .410, Mini-14,etc. up to mild loads through a 12 gauge, we hit the range for fun with pistols! She shoots my .38 better than me, darn it.

I feel this way of showing new people is best, starting small, targets in close so everyone's a winner, and crown land if possible: reactive targets(clean up!) and "relaxed" range rules- still safe, but you can go at your own pace..heck, make a picnic out of it.

If neither of you have your licence yet? Sounds like a cool couples thing for her to brag about to her friends! Let her pick the next couples activity after you both pass? I r now swing dancer...

My 2¢.

[Prairie Dog]

Good advise Strewth!

Don't compromise on safety but emphasize the fun factor. Something you can do together is a good selling point. Assure that she feels comfortable, a firearm is only as dangerous as the person handling it.

Perhaps some good videos? Avoid the ones where some clusterf*ck gives a new shooter a .50 caliber to shoot for the first time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGYf9AZlSyU

[stevesummit]

I second the reactive targets and a 22 or 223 once she makes that first hit and sees that it's not an evil baby killing sport she will understand why we do the things we do with our hobby . If shooting center fire try to double up on the hearing protection as its mostly the sound that scares most people

[Garetsu]

My wife grew up around some not so 'gun safe' people, and she was in high school one county over from Columbine, so she was growing up with a not so good image of firearms.

When I met her I had only even been to 1 range ever, down in Florida, so my experience with firearms was severely limited, so I had a really hard time explaining to her why I eventually wanted to own a firearm. Eventually, after much convincing, I got her to come with me to Target Sports for, for my 2nd time shooting, and her 1st. Honestly, I didn't have to do much when we were there to convince her, the little safety briefing calmed her nerves, I shot first so she could watch, and then when she took her first shot... She was hooked, haha! We left with her going on about how much she loved the .357 and the 12 gauge!

Since then I got my RPAL, and she comes out with me almost every time I go out shooting. It's awesome. Hell, last time we were out, she wouldn't give me the Norc M305 back!

[DOA]

I've got my wife booked for her PAL/RPAL after the New Year, she grew up actively discouraged from touching firearms. After a couple of trips out to the bush (zero pressure) with the .22, then the .410, Mini-14,etc. up to mild loads through a 12 gauge, we hit the range for fun with pistols! She shoots my .38 better than me, darn it.

I feel this way of showing new people is best, starting small, targets in close so everyone's a winner, and crown land if possible: reactive targets(clean up!) and "relaxed" range rules- still safe, but you can go at your own pace..heck, make a picnic out of it.

If neither of you have your licence yet? Sounds like a cool couples thing for her to brag about to her friends! Let her pick the next couples activity after you both pass? I r now swing dancer...

My 2¢.

Awesome, you might know my sister if you attend any big swing events...

My wife was very timid but I explained to her that I wanted her to understand the basics so she could be safe with firearms as they are in our home. I also hinted that I would enjoy having her with me when I spend time pursuing my hobby. We started with 22 close up and she has fun now. Always education and understanding first.

[Airw4ves]

Great, thanks for info guys
I'll hopefully have her come out and take the course with me in the new year. I'm looking to pick up an AR15 for my first purchase, so I'm fairly certain the recoil will be manageable for her. I'll probably pick up a RDS just so she doesn't have to worry about figuring out irons, and can just shoot for fun. Thanks again, and I appreciate the video posted, some really good info in there.

[lone-wolf]

If you're both taking the course together, that seems like the best idea. AR15 with a red dot sounds ideal to me as well. Have fun.

[CanuckWR]

I battled my better halfs indifference to guns buy buying her some neat "low recoil" options. Rem 597VTR with A2 stock was first, and she doesn't mind it. Then a Walther P22, which was a great investment because its really small for her hands, runs on almost any 22LR I put in it and the single action pull is not to bad. Then I got a 6" GP-100 with full underlug and loaded her some 38 sp soft stuff and one of those reactive targets that rolls and she is HOOKED! That revolver is a recoil free dream and I can still work on my pistol skills with it.

I should state that my lady chooses not to shoot anything with recoil. So it has been a struggle.

[Airw4ves]

Well, thanks to this :mad::mad::mad::mad:'s actions on Friday, my fiancé is dead set against me having a firearm in the house. I have tried to explain it, but nothing has worked so far. Looks like I'll have to wait until all of this dies down, and try again.

[Drache]

I've gotten more than a few women into shooting. Some just can't get into it. So if you have a wife or girlfriend, don't pressure them into it. You put pressure on them and they will just refuse to come or if they do go shooting, won't have any fun doing it. I've also found more than a few girls who just can't stand the thought of killing something with a firearm so I generally keep hunting talk or pictures out of the shooting experience. Some have gotten over this and want to hunt, others have not.

Some women want to be alone with you for their first time shooting so they won't be embarrassed, others need to be in a group to build up courage. If they want to be alone take them out into the woods (less chance of people watching which might make her nervous). Some women though need to be in a group so other women can encourage them. In this case it always helps to bring in a woman who knows how to shoot and will use larger caliber guns. A lot of women in a group feel that if one can do it, so can they.

Start small. Usually a .22LR. This works for both pistols and rifles. Allow them to shoot that until they are calm with it. Do not rush them. If it takes multiple trips then so be it. When they are calm then politely offer to bring something larger. Once again do not force them into something larger.

Use lots of encouragement.

Start with a paper target to help them learn to aim. Then once she can aim switch to reactive targets. The more reactive the better. The best paper targets are the shoot N See targets (holes change color). Reactive targets can be pop cans, golf balls, anything that makes a noise and moves when shot.

Then move onto something slightly larger. .223 works well as does .410 if they want to get into shotguns.

Some will immediately hate anything larger than a .22LR. If that's the case oh well. She either wasn't ready for centerfire or she's just wants to shoot rimfire. Don't be disappointed.

After using a small centerfire until she's comfortable then you offer something in a larger caliber.

Remember, don't talk about things that might scare someone from shooting. Don't brag or joke about the amount of recoil a certain gun has or how much it hurt your shoulder. That may worry them and so they won't move up to a larger caliber.

[lone-wolf]

A 12ga with light birdshot. Had a lady friend of mine shoot one the other day, after being scared by others with 12ga recoil stories.

[zulu]

hide the broom at the gun range harharhar, i started my wife with a .22

[JustBen]

Well, thanks to this :mad::mad::mad::mad:'s actions on Friday, my fiancé is dead set against me having a firearm in the house. I have tried to explain it, but nothing has worked so far. Looks like I'll have to wait until all of this dies down, and try again.

That's really too bad. But if she is reasonable, you can show her that you will take all the required precautions. Buy a small safe, stick with "traditional" styled guns to start with before moving to the "scary looking" black guns.

Best of luck.

[Airw4ves]

Well, things have finally calmed down, and made I deal with her that I would do a cleanse (joy) if she would take the course with me. And I didn't even have to bring it up :)
So, we are booked in for March and will be doing both our PAL and RPAL.

[jwirecom109]

Congrats

[Drache]

Congrats

If Air has to do the "cleanse" I'm thinking of it requires a bending over, a firehose, and a bucket :p

[Candychikita]

congrats :D have fun :D and don't be cranky when she turns out to be a better shot than you :D :D

[Airw4ves]

It's actually not as bad as I thought. No processed food, No coffee, No Alcohol, and No dairy. Looks like lots of meat and salads for me haha.

Not to worry about her shooting better, I would be pretty pleased if she managed that

[Strewth]

^Huh, that sounds interesting, meat and salad diet, hmm. Very neanderthally...seems like a smart cleanse-thing?

[lone-wolf]

No coffee though...

[Strewth]

No coffee though...

Maybe instant sprinkled on the food as garnish? Does this mean meat and salad for breakfast too?

[Airw4ves]

Eggs, Smoothies, Oatmeal, etc.
And I can still have Tea, so at least I'm not completely cutting out my morning caffeine haha

[Airw4ves]

Thank god thats over with, love my morning coffee haha

So instead of opening up a new thread for one question, I figured I would write it here. I'm having a tough time deciding between two choices as my first firearm. The two I have had my eyes on for some time have been an AR15 (DD preferably, but if none available I would go Stag), and a Glock 17. Now I'm back in school, so it has to be one or the other for now due to budgetary concerns. Just curious which you guys would choose, and why. I'm looking for something that the fiancé can learn to shoot, and will offer a relatively enjoyable first experience. The reason I don't just go Norc is due to my firm belief in buy once, cry once. I would like a gun that will last me for a long time to come, and can be used in courses, should I decide to take them in the future.
I would love to hear your guys feedback and ideas.
Thanks

[road kill]

The only problem i have with an AR is that they are resricted. I like to hunt and all my range shooting is on the range in my back yard. Handguns i won`t say to much about as all i have is a Browning Nomad and a D weeon 357 and don`t get them out much. My choice of a semi auto 223 was a Kel-Tec, buddies have mini14 and csz vz58.

[Strewth]

You'll probably get more responses with a new thread? Time will tell:) I offer the incredibly boring, but financially astute,non restricted .22. No recoil to scare the fiance with, cheapest of the cheap to load, fun with ballistics at a reasonable range, lots of different configurations to buy it in, you can find them used for quite a deal, everyone should have at least one...my 2¢.

Having said that, between your two choices, I'd get the....yah I dunno, like road kill said, both restricted, and if money's an issue(when isn't it:)) you get to add two range memberships onto the cost? If you're set on those two ask your fiance which one she likes more('cause you want both:)), get her out trying some in your area?

[lone-wolf]

Stuck at the range? Probably the glock + a .22lr conversion(if the conversions are reliable)

[Prairie Dog]

Stuck at the range? Probably the glock + a .22lr conversion(if the conversions are reliable)

Or a CZ with the Kadet adapter?

I'd lean towards the lowly rim fire. If you want something with a little more horsepower maybe a .17HMR or a .22 magnum.

[Candychikita]

gah. glock :D i had one and i sold it.

for what it's worth: go for a .22 you can shoot more :D i spent way too much money on 9mm ammo learning :D :D. don't bother with the glock with a .22 conversion when you can pick up a .22 cheaply to learn on. the new gen 4 is not any easier on the female hand than the older generations despite all the hype...actually injured my hand on the glock.

is there a place you can go to try out different guns or do you have a friend with a large arsenal? it's a shame you can't try before you buy a firearm at the stores.

when you have your fiancee shooting, post up some pics :D we are the only unisex gun forum with a decent female photo thread

[Asphalt Cowboy]

my wife grew up on a pig farm shes got a better shot than me

[kodiakken]

I have been around guns for over 50 years, My wife and I had been married for 27 years and had never really showed any interests in shooting. She had asked the odd question but that was about it. We have three children all shoot and hunt thanks to dear old Dad taking them along when they decided they wanted to go.
One day I was off to the range by myself the kids had other things to do (teenagers) and for some strange reason I asked her to come to the range. Got the no right off the bat but by the time I got loaded up and ready to leave she had warmed up to the idea of coming along. I told her if she brought a book that if she didn't like it she could read and I would shoot for awhile. To shorten this up she loved it and She is one very, very good shot. She started with a 22 and has shot pretty much everything that I own up to the 50-90 Sharps.
She doesn't like the Big Bore Mags but anything that has relative light recoil she will shoot.
Moral of the story whom ever it is Man Woman or Child they have to want to try it and the one teaching them or showing them has to use a little savvy and start them on something that they will enjoy. Everyone of us on this forum and any other forum know that shooting a rifle and handgun is very addictive.
The wife has been shooting for 8 years and has no inclining to get her Pal but she owns guns and will tell you that all day long. They are legal before I get static about that just not in her name.
Good Luck and hopefully All that want to get someone to shoot with them can accomplish this with a little time and work.

Ken.

[3MTA3]

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTkQe4ILcqjvk9t6JHvk0Cwz8QlS6gJQ QGZjqi451fGVSILDzQH
Tell her that this this the new girl at work who some help with her positions

[awndray]

Woohoo! Yesterday, the girlfriend came over to the range during our IDPA classifier match to see what this shooting thing is all about. At that point, she had never seen a gun being fired up close and personal. She hadn't even touched one. So, after the classifier was over, went to the car to get a few items out of the trunk: Savage Mark II BTVS, Browning Buck Mark Camper, CZ SP-01 Shadow, Winchester 1300 Defender, and Norinco M305.

I showed taught her everything she needed to know to shoot safely and then she got hooked. Naturally, she hit the bullseye on the first shot - just like every girl I've ever taken to the range for the first time. With the 12ga and the 308, she only needed two shots to hit her point of aim. A buddy was there with an M&P9, so he let her try it. In the end, she said she preferred shooting the Shadow. This morning, she sent me a good morning text message and said: "I totally want to go shooting again! Bullets are on me." I'm a happy camper. :)

P.S. Now I think I want to buy an M&P9. lol

[snowfighter]

When I first met my wife she was anti gun, she was raised anti gun (her Mom is terrified of them thanks to the media) but after a close encounter with some coyotes while walking her small dog, and a Savage model 24 passed down to her by her Grandfather, she has changed her mind. She is now an active member at the local range, proud owner of 2 rifles of her own and is soon taking the restricted firearms coarse.

[DOA]

When I first met my wife she was anti gun, she was raised anti gun (her Mom is terrified of them thanks to the media) but after a close encounter with some coyotes while walking her small dog, and a Savage model 24 passed down to her by her Grandfather, she has changed her mind. She is now an active member at the local range, proud owner of 2 rifles of her own and is soon taking the restricted firearms coarse.

Nice, that's what we like to hear! Also a first post, Welcome to the Forum!

[awndray]

Update to my previous happy story. Yesterday, the girlfriend sent me a note saying she wants to sign up for the next CFSC and Ontario hunting courses. :D

[Drache]

Just started seeing a woman who used to hunt with her grandfather. This was many many years ago and he's long since passed. Hoping to get her out with me as soon as the snow disappears to see how well she still shoots then out hunting this fall!

[Mikthaniel]

I admit to not reading every comment up to here so forgive me if it's been said...

But if you REALLY want to get your wife into shooting...

TELL HER YOU SLEPT WITH HER SISTER!

[Lord Vader]

I admit to not reading every comment up to here so forgive me if it's been said...

But if you REALLY want to get your wife into shooting...

TELL HER YOU SLEPT WITH HER SISTER!
You would be her first and only target!

[frankthedog]

sorry if its been said...its still kinda early...but make sure you plan ahead for weather, drinks and food if your going in the bush...lol everything a girl needs pretty much...this is more if your going into the bush or a gravel pitt as most ive been too don't have flushing toilets and concession stands...my girlfriends actual words from last time " I cant wait for summer, this would be so much more fun if it wasn't cold "...

[coastal]

I met a girl at the hunting course, she got my phone number from the instructor and started sending me dirty pictures. If I wasn't already taken she might be a keeper! lol

[Steveo9mm]

Sit your girl down and have her watch all the seasons of the walking dead consecutivly. It worked on mine

[TV-PressPass]

The biggest mistakes I've seen guys make are:

1. Inadequate ear-pro
2. Guns that hurt.

Starting someone off with slugs isn't going to make them enjoy shooting.

[Satain]

I met a girl at the hunting course, she got my phone number from the instructor and started sending me dirty pictures. If I wasn't already taken she might be a keeper! lol

Barney said sharing is caring ;)
LoL!!!

[Drache]

Starting someone off with slugs isn't going to make them enjoy shooting.

Took a girl out shooting one time and handed her the .22LR, she got upset because I gave her the sissy gun instead of the 12 gauge :p

She handled the 12 like a pro :D

Made me stop and think lol.

Girl tells you she's a virgin yet starts pulling moves that you only see in porn really makes you wonder ;)

[Candychikita]

Girl tells you she's a virgin yet starts pulling moves that you only see in porn really makes you wonder ;)

some people are just fast visual learners ;)

[Drache]

some people are just fast visual learners ;)

Yeah no comment :p

[Kobs]

When I first met my wife she was anti gun, she was raised anti gun (her Mom is terrified of them thanks to the media) but after a close encounter with some coyotes while walking her small dog, and a Savage model 24 passed down to her by her Grandfather, she has changed her mind. She is now an active member at the local range, proud owner of 2 rifles of her own and is soon taking the restricted firearms coarse.

Mine is on her way, i was even wondering if she would sign for my license. There was no way i was going to have guns in the house and now we talk about them. I got her to handle my "scary" 9mm rifle loll, she couldn't help but smile when she shouldered it. Inside i was like Yesssss!

[Petamocto]

One year ago I was in the same position you were in, except with a wife of a decade. I was very much fighting a "Never going to happen in my house" mindset.

What worked for me was having a guy who knew a lot more about guns than I do come over and basically teach her a streamlined process of what we teach in the Army for an introduction to firearms. Same concepts to enforce an environment of safety, like first bringing up that there is no ammo present, first explaining how guns work with pictures only, designating a safe area, and then finally bringing some out.

Then it was on to getting comfortable holding them, and eventually the marksmanship principles of how to effectively shoot the things. That process was a whole evening on a Friday night, and Saturday we went to a proper range. She started off with a 22LR on a bipod from 25m, and by the afternoon she was shooting 9mm pistols, and an M14 from the standing.

She absolutely loved it, and for her what she loves is that it's a big stress reliever from the hours she spends every day in an office environment, and being annoyed at people over Excel and Powerpoint.

Because of that day, I got my PAL last summer, last fall I got three rifles (including a 22LR Remington 597 for her), and I just got my R-PAL, bought a Glock, and I'm about to buy an AR15 and a 22 revolver. The only real stipulation was that they had to be uuber secured when not in use (which is 99% of the time), and I wasn't going sit there in my chair hugging them while watching TV. And that they are, always unloaded, in redundant heavily locked cases, with ammo in a separate area, and the kids will never see where the keys are.

This has all happened in one year, and my wife started off very much as an anti. Not a fanatic about it, but definitely on the other side of the fence.

[harbl_the_cat]

A few points to add - I think it's important to genuinely convince your fiancée that even in a moment of rage, you will never resort to violence towards her AND your gun ownership will never be a source of danger in your relationship.

My wife knew I was a gun nut when we were dating and just before we were engaged, I had the honour of having my guns taken away by the police through a false, malicious public-safety call made by a personal opponent. My fiancée stuck with me through the court proceedings (which made me know she the one - because that was 6 months of pure hell and I would not have gotten through it without her).

After I got everything back, I became an even bigger gun nut than before but instituted an absolutely unequivocal personal philosophy to NEVER appear threatening or violent to anyone and to do everything in my power to NOT alienate or make enemies.

Especially to those I love, but also to people I just met.

The most important thing to do that is to properly manage relationships with EVERYONE.

I try to not quarrel with or transgress with ANYONE, and when I do, to genuinely seek to make amends.

When it comes to guns the BIGGEST danger isn't from misuse, negligence, or accidents. It's from the government sending agents to take them away from you.

As it stands, the way they do that is by taking advantage of the fact that people have falling outs with one another.

Ambiguously restrictive laws and snitch lines are setup with which the State can justify sending in tac-teams to bust down your door in the middle of the night, hold you up at gun point, hog-tie you in front of your neighbours, cart off your cherished personal property as if it were trash, and shame and terrorise your entire family.

If you have ANY personal enemies make sure you realize that at any point in time, they can call the RCMP and file a baseless public safety concern against you and make that a reality.

Make friends, not enemies. Foster a mentality that makes it clear that such is a priority to you.

If you have guns and act like a bad*ss, that doesn't bode well for you, and it probably doesn't do much to lay your fiancée's fears to rest. (It also sets you up to get your guns taken away from you by the government).

When we were first married, my wife was VERY concerned that this might happen again. In fact, that was the biggest resistance I got from here when it came to owning guns. She has seen how I have reformed my personality and now she just shrugs her shoulder and laughs it off when Canada Post drops off, big, heavy brown boxes.

[hercster]

The biggest mistakes I've seen guys make are:

1. Inadequate ear-pro
2. Guns that hurt.

Starting someone off with slugs isn't going to make them enjoy shooting.

I agree with TV. The biggest dampner is often the noise. Double up on the hearing protection or give her very good muffs. Plugs do no protect against the concussion of high pressure rounds.

At all cost, avoid the shooter with .223 or more with a full muzzle break.

One of the principles of motivation when teaching new people anything is to go for quick and easy wins. Seven yards or shorter is a good distance with a large target. I like the targets that show hits with a colourful spash like the "Shoot and See" or Dirty Bird types.

If possible, end with a coffee with other shooters so that the chatter can reinforce the fun you've just had.

Everything else has been well covered already.

[harbl_the_cat]

So a thought to my above post.

For guys, remember you're playing with fire when you mix romantic relationships with private gun ownership.

That's not to be discouraging - but I personally got burnt and I know a few guys that got burnt too and also had their guns taken away due to a messy breakup/divorce.

With a fiancée in particular, it's NOT enough to just get her into shooting. You HAVE to get her into understanding and accepting what the lifestyle of gun ownership entails. Sadly - it entails the possibility of armed government raids on your private property and the threat of jail-time over victimless paper-crimes (at worst). That said, it also entails the possibility of being part of a very exciting and fun community which I honestly belief offsets the risk of government violence (at best).

What I would also recommend is to get involved with an active club that has large events for membership - matches, fun shoots, BBQ's, fundraisers, etc. This is a bit of a generalization, but I think women are generally more community minded then men are, so it really sets their minds at ease about something seeing other's (and particularly other women) doing it too.

Moreover, with a wife/fiancée ALWAYS build and maintain that relationship above any and all other relationships. Make it the priority and if it ever seems like it's in jeopardy, do everything in your power to restore and rebuild it.

For me personally, I KNOW if I ever lose my wife, I lose ALL my guns (and I have a lot of guns). As seriously as I take gun ownership - I take my marriage even more seriously.

[awndray]

For me personally, I KNOW if I ever lose my wife, I lose ALL my guns (and I have a lot of guns).
I'm not sure I follow.

[Petamocto]

Doh. Just realized someone had revitalized this thread, so my info is now likely obsolete.

[Strewth]

Doh. Just realized someone had revitalized this thread, so my info is now likely obsolete.
Why would it be obsolete? Very good description of how to accustom the uninitiated to firearms (or really, any new/scary thing)? If at all possible, starting away from the firing line of the rifle range is best, and sitting in one's comfort zone of their living room is a great place to start.

I'm not sure I follow.

Me either? Are you worried your (after much trying, presumably now to become ex-)wife will scream blue bloody murder and get your stuff taken? Always have a buddy you can store your guns at?

[Steveo9mm]

2 words.... Walking Dead

[hercster]

"For me personally, I KNOW if I ever lose my wife, I lose ALL my guns (and I have a lot of guns). As seriously as I take gun ownership - I take my marriage even more seriously."

Huh ????

I've been married 47 years to the same woman and have always hidden things from her. My Dinky Toy and Wonder Woman collections will NEVER be found!!

If you want to give your marriage a good test, forget about guns and confess to something you did 22 years ago while in a stupor from your chemical of choice.

I'm not saying fabricate a total snow job but "storm troopers" at the door ?? Really ??

Unless it's totally safe, everything I say or do is carefully packaged by the PR / HR expert who lives in the back of my head. I didn't survive 47 years by being stupid.

[harbl_the_cat]

"For me personally, I KNOW if I ever lose my wife, I lose ALL my guns (and I have a lot of guns). As seriously as I take gun ownership - I take my marriage even more seriously."

Huh ????

I've been married 47 years to the same woman and have always hidden things from her. My Dinky Toy and Wonder Woman collections will NEVER be found!!

If you want to give your marriage a good test, forget about guns and confess to something you did 22 years ago while in a stupor from your chemical of choice.

I'm not saying fabricate a total snow job but "storm troopers" at the door ?? Really ??

Unless it's totally safe, everything I say or do is carefully packaged by the PR / HR expert who lives in the back of my head. I didn't survive 47 years by being stupid.

I hide things from my wife too BUT I don't do or hide anything that would seriously undermine or marriage.

These days, a lot of people are getting into serious romantic relationships without much long term consideration or commitment. A lot of these relationships are ending on bad terms, with one, both or multiple parties walking away with a lot of resentment and hostility towards one another.

As a gun owner, that's got to be one of the most dangerous places to be in because an angry ex has a LOT of power to get the State to take away a man's guns.

That's why I think it's important to make sure I maintain my marriage and I feel being a gun owner really enriches and causes our marriage to stay strong and grow stronger.

I'm no different than any man. I have my temptations and short comings - but if I had an affair my wife would never forgive me, run off with our children, and probably call the RCMP to take away my guns.

Furthermore, if I ignore my wife, grow distant and cold with her - eventually, I know she'll fall out of love with me and be in the right to want to separate from me - again not a place I want to be in.

Lastly (although not exclusively) if I do something unbelievably stupid - like max out a line of credit or credit card on a handful of really cool guns that I would have to pay interest on - she would be infuriated, think I'm crazy and start having doubts about or marriage.

The point I'm getting at is a healthy marriage (or steady relationship - whatever you want to call it) is absolutely critical above and beyond just getting the partner to like shooting.

It also helps getting the partner to understand and accept it. I have a great relationship with my wife and she accepts that I volunteer as a match director for days at a time, or that once a week I'll go shooting, or that I'll go to board meetings once a month.

It doesn't make her happy, but I make sure I do other things to make her happy, such as:
-buy her a house
-build up enough of an income that she can be a stay at home Mom and homeschool our kids
-compliment her regularly
-tell her how much I love her, how beautiful she is and how happy she makes me
-don't complain endlessly about how crappy my day is (that's what this place is for)
-reassure and encourage her that she's doing the right thing
-listen to her when she tells me what's on her mind, what worries her, and what her problems are
-try not to judge, criticize, or try to offer an opinion about her problems unless she explicitly asks for it
-carry out whatever reasonable task she asks me to do (take out the garbage, install shelves, call the cable company, etc.)
-take her out on romantic dates every once in a while
-take care of the kids when she feels overwhelmed so she can get time to recuperate

[harbl_the_cat]

Doh. Just realized someone had revitalized this thread, so my info is now likely obsolete.

I don't know, it sounded reasonable to me.

[Petamocto]

This thread has gotten super bizarre. I'm curious to know how the OP made out, though.

[Foxer]

If Air has to do the "cleanse" I'm thinking of it requires a bending over, a firehose, and a bucket :p

You need to go sit in the corner and think about what you've done young man :)

[hercster]

This thread has gotten super bizarre. I'm curious to know how the OP made out, though.

Have you noticed how that happens Mr. Peta?

Actually I was pulling on Mr. Harbl's chain a bit and don't have a prayer of one upping him as regards care and feeding of a wife goes. In fact I sold the only house my wife thought she owned and so she is now "houseless" and forced to live an unstable life in a trailer. I do prepare all her meals though and she thinks I'm close to perfect now which is a delusion I try not to shatter.

I do think there are good and better ways of introducing anyone to the gun game. I liked what you did. "Easy does it" is probably a good path is most cases. For example going to a high level IPSC match might be exciting for some but intimidating for others. Some gentle exposure at a quiet range would likely work for most at least the first time. I think new people need goals that are easily met. Big noisy guns and fools doing mag dumps beside the recruit won't likely impress.

I do think combining the outing with some social time has merit. With two or more converts, they will likely reinforce just how positive the experience was and most of all how much fun shooting is.

I've taken a few people to the range for the first time and don't know who benefited the most. There's an old saying that goes: " If you really want to learn something, try teaching it". I'm always the winner when I introduce newbies to our games.

[Kobs]

"For me personally, I KNOW if I ever lose my wife, I lose ALL my guns (and I have a lot of guns). As seriously as I take gun ownership - I take my marriage even more seriously."

Huh ????

I've been married 47 years to the same woman and have always hidden things from her.

Unless it's totally safe, everything I say or do is carefully packaged by the PR / HR expert who lives in the back of my head. I didn't survive 47 years by being stupid.


^^^ This we've been to the same school ;) http://i57.tinypic.com/2a9tir4.jpg

[harbl_the_cat]

Have you noticed how that happens Mr. Peta?

Actually I was pulling on Mr. Harbl's chain a bit and don't have a prayer of one upping him as regards care and feeding of a wife goes. In fact I sold the only house my wife thought she owned and so she is now "houseless" and forced to live an unstable life in a trailer. I do prepare all her meals though and she thinks I'm close to perfect now which is a delusion I try not to shatter.

I do think there are good and better ways of introducing anyone to the gun game. I liked what you did. "Easy does it" is probably a good path is most cases. For example going to a high level IPSC match might be exciting for some but intimidating for others. Some gentle exposure at a quiet range would likely work for most at least the first time. I think new people need goals that are easily met. Big noisy guns and fools doing mag dumps beside the recruit won't likely impress.

I do think combining the outing with some social time has merit. With two or more converts, they will likely reinforce just how positive the experience was and most of all how much fun shooting is.

I've taken a few people to the range for the first time and don't know who benefited the most. There's an old saying that goes: " If you really want to learn something, try teaching it". I'm always the winner when I introduce newbies to our games.

Tee hee... "Mr. Peta"

One thing is my wife's not really into shooting, even though I constantly badger her to get her PAL. Without it, she can't qualify for Firearms Legal Defence insurance, and so I deny her access to all the family guns without me being present.

It's pretty nice - since it gives me the opportunity to build some pretty sweet man-caves where she just can't go into, hence the "hiding stuff" quip.

I realized this morning counting all my old registration certificates and receipts in the 8 years I've been shooting (7 years dating/engaged/married), I've gone through about 50 guns, bought, sold, traded and given away. I suspect if she regularly went into my man-cave/gun rooms, that number might be quite a bit lower.

Still, I do my best to keep her happy and while she KNOWS I've gone through that many guns she doesn't quite have a full understanding of the implications therein. She still accepts shooting as a part of me being who I am and loves me for it.

I'm a really lucky man.