Harbl the cat... only a very different man... TLDR

[NickYYC]

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[Doug_M]

1) Welcome back Harbl! I know, it's Nick. But Harbl is the only brony I know, so you're unique.

2) Family first. Glad you found that. It is a man's job in a marriage to sacrifice (yes, women sacrifice too). That's what it's about. That is what being a man means. To sacrifice for family.

3) While I am a father so I understand worry, I can only imagine what it is like to raise a child with a crippling disability. You have my sympathies and support.

4) I'm glad the pot has helped, truly. But I hope you realize it is a crutch and that your goal should be to get off it eventually. I don't know when an appropriate "eventually" will be for you, but it must come at some point.

5) "(I can't stand how much the Tories use Michelle Rempel as the "woke, busty, blonde, conservative chick" - honestly, I can't stand the way her handlers purposely frame her upper torso in all of her Facebook live videos... that alone was enough to break a recurring Facebook addiction)". I know right!

[RobertMcC]

Welcome back, I'd like to apologize for my comments years ago, about you watching my little pony. I now see it that you do it more for your daughters. So like to say sorry. I don't have any children, because personally I think it would set me off mentally over the edge. So I don't fully understand.

While I'm with Doug. Pot is a huge crutch and doesn't get to the root of the problem. If you haven't I think you should seek professional help. Using one substance to forget something, will just lead into more issues. While I never dabbed into the MMJ much, I did use alcohol alot, till the point I hit rock bottom. Ive been seeing Billy here using alcohol much more, and his posts are showing it. Why I notice it much. Because I was like him at one time. Can't force someone, but it's just a thought.

But I know how you feel. Years ago, I got it all off my chest. Who I am, and why I am. And it felt great. Some friends/families didn't accept it, but guess they were really not my friends or family.

So don't want to see someone ruin their family over a substance abuse. Just take care of what matters first.

[NickYYC]

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[blacksmithden]

Hi Harbl. Send jwirecom109 a message and have him send you an account reset, or what ever gets done in the background to get back into your account.

You're in the right province for help with autistic kids. Alberta is under a court order to provide help through various programs. You and your wife have a LOT of work to do yourselves on top of it. I won't kid you there. You are going to see multiple doctors. You'll have assessments done, ect to get an idea of the severity of her autism. Once you have a formal diagnosis, you're going to set her up with an FSCD (family services for children with disabilities) worker. They are going to set her up with IBI (intensive behavior intervention) therapy. It's probably called something else by now. A therapist will come to your home several times a week for x number of hours and work with your daughter. There's no "one size fits all" therapy program. They will do things like place her in a corner on a chair with a table in front of her so she can't escape and do various learning and speech activities with her. They may or may not ask you and your wife to participate. One thing to remember as well. Your family doctor can be a good resource for signing forms and such. They won't be a specialist with autistic kids, but if they know your family, he/she might be able to save you time waiting to see some specialist just to get a form filled out. Your family doctor can sign that stuff and have it recognized just like any other doctor as long as they're comfortable with doing it. Just know this. It's very important that you guys do your part to help out with what is going to be a long process. NO MATTER WHAT, support your wife in this. Go to appointments. Do your share of the paperwork. Praise her for doing her part even if she doesn't praise you for doing yours. You think you're stressed ? I guarantee she is just as stressed, if not more. Sometimes she will have a breakdown and be brought to tears. Sometimes it'll be you. Sometimes it will be both of you. NEVER forget that you're a team, and you are both fighting the same battles.

When she gets to school age, you will need to contact the school before hand and work with them to decide what program is the best fit for her. Keep an eye on it, and don't be afraid to be a little pushy. You are in for a lifetime of being her advocate. If you're being stonewalled by a school bureaucrat, you will have to get pushy. An example of that is when they were ignoring their legal obligation to do an assessment on my oldest son. They will say that it's going to take a long time...they're underfunded....blah blah blah. Offer to get them all the help they need to get things done. I understand Mrs School Principal. I can get you all the help and funding you need. Please give me the name of your immediate supervisor downtown and the name of my school trustee. I'll file a formal human rights complaint with the Alberta Human Rights Board citing that you are not making reasonable accommodations for a disabled person , and I'm sure they will be more than glad to help you out. They will try to play it cool, but believe me. You just, in no uncertain terms, informed them that they are pounding on the head of a nuke and they had better get their shit together.....and they know it. The old saying "the squeaky wheel gets the grease" is the absolute perfect description of how things work when you're raising autistic children. Do not turn the other cheek. ALWAYS remain polite and professional, but sometimes, you will HAVE to be merciless in order to get things done. It's sad, and it's also reality.

Another time, this dipshit powertipping hag of a bus driver didn't want to have to drive down our street. She tried playing the safety card, saying she couldn't turn around in our cul-du-sac (pure BS) and she wasn't allowed to back up the bus to turn around. Instead, after 5 years of picking our kids up at the house, they wanted my wife to walk out with the kids every single day and stand out on the main road that divides our subdivision from the next one over. This went back and forth for a while until I finally had it out with some supervisor at the bus company. She said that they would have a safety inspector come down...their word was final....blah blah blah. I said GREAT ! Let's get this over with so we can get down to talking about how you're "failing to make reasonable accommodations for disabled people ! OH MOTHERF-----. A quote right off the front page of the Alberta Human Rights Tribunal web page !!! This guy knows his kid's rights !!! DAMN !!! Never had another problem with the idiots after that (thank you to Foxer for reminding me of that gem).

Raising a kid with autism is all about finding resources for them....and they aren't easy to find. We never had a damned bit of luck with the Autism Society. I can't stress this enough. NETWORK WITH OTHER PARENTS. They may know of a program you didn't, and vica versa. Ask your FSCD worker about what's available in your area. One thing that really helped 2 of our kids was a program called Chatter. It really helped them with speech and language as well as how to interact and converse with others. That will be something she can get into further down the road though. You're at the beginning. KNOW THIS !!! Your daughter WILL learn and improve with time and effort. Also, you do not have to live to be 120. When she's 18 she will receive government funding. Depending on how she matures, and what level she reaches, she my live in a full care group home, and assisted living setup, or who knows...she may become a functioning adult. I still have hope that my oldest boy will live on his own someday. The younger two, my daughter, and my adopted son, will be dependent adults all of their lives. My wife and I have made piece with the idea because that's reality.

I touched on this earlier, but I'll touch on it again. You and your wife need to support each other. Sometimes frustration will win out, and she may lash out at you. Don't turn it in to a full blown brawl. She's only human, and sometimes she will need to vent....and that's ok. People may stare at your daughter if she's having a melt down. So what. I remember once in Costco, my daughter was having a melt down and some guy made a smart ass comment. Holy shit. I thought my wife was going to kill him...and I was going to let her while I kept an eye on the kids. LOL. Personally, I just ignore society's idiots.

Although it's important to bring your daughter out with you to different places like stores and restaurants, don't think you have to all the time. Send your wife out shopping by herself....or at least encourage her to. Tell her to take as long as she wants because you'll be at home looking after things. The best thing we ever decided was that we weren't going to let our kids get away with bad behavior just because they are autistic. Yes, it took a LOT of work, but our kids are now well mannered and very polite. We can take them anywhere now without the worry of them acting like out of control animals. They WILL learn...it just takes longer and requires more effort. I cant count the times when my daughter started having a melt down in a restaurant and I had to take her, sometimes kicking and screaming, out to the car while my wife and son finished their meal. Sometimes it only took her a few minutes to calm down, and sometimes it took hours. Meh....whatever kid...but you will NOT be allowed to act like that in a restaurant or any other public place and get away with it. Sometimes you will take her somewhere, and she will just lose her mind for no apparent reason. My daughter used to lose her shit if we even drove by a Shoppers Drug Mart....the lumber aisle at Home Depot was another one.....and the noise from the cash registers in a Walmart would drive her bat shit crazy. In time, taking her time and time again, eventually, she grew out of it. Autistic kids are hyper sensitive to some things. Sometimes the everyday sounds, lights, smells, whatever, that you and I just tune out.....to an autistic child, it's like the volume button on EVERYTHING is set at max, and they do not have the ability to tune it out any more than you have the ability stop your heart or fly around the room by flapping your arms. It's not in their makeup. With time, effort, and patience, they can be desensitized but usually not completely...but enough that they can get through it.

Now that the kids are older and quite independent (get themselves ready for school, make their own lunches, ect) I've taken on a different job. I'm now working 2 weeks on, two weeks off in remote mining camps. I'm currently typing this to you from the Diavik diamond mine here in the territories. I was worried about how my wife would handle it, but she seems fine with it. I should mention that she's not out working a regular job right now. My pay is enough that she doesn't have to, and quite frankly, I don't want her to as long as she's the main person looking after the kids. If the stress ever does get to be too much for her, I'll pull the pin and get an in town job again. For now, it's working for us.

I'll be glad to give you advice, so feel free to ask. It might take me a while to reply depending on where I am. Sometimes the internet goes out here for a day or two, and at the best of times it's slow as hell.

Just remember....you're not raising an alien who is never going to progress. She may never be a rocket scientist, but if you keep working with her, and never give up, she will steadily (all be it slower than other kids) progress....and the more she progresses, the easier your life gets. Lots of work in the early stages pays dividends later on. Never EVER give up...and above all else....support your wife in every way possible.

[RobertMcC]

I talked to a buddy with a special needs daughter. He told me this. Again he's a vet, and also has 4 children.


Let him know to reach out to social development to look into resbit care and or request additional hours of resbit care.
Also there are some Facebook groups of parents with special needs children.
They are a great peer support network

[JustBen]

Welcome back.

[blacksmithden]

I talked to a buddy with a special needs daughter. He told me this. Again he's a vet, and also has 4 children.

Yes. That will be done through their FSCD worker. FSCD will provide funding, but you still have to find someone to actually do the resbit care. I think they provide something like $14/hr for x number of hours per month. They don't watch it too closely though. If you can only find someone for $18 or $20 bucks and hour, then just put down that they were there for a few more hours than they were. You pay the resbit worker, and FSCD reimburses you. They know it's nearly impossible to find someone qualified for $14 or whatever it is, but that's what they're allowed to give out. They know damned well that people fudge things a bit to make stuff work. At least it gives mom and dad a chance to go out to dinner once in a while without the kids. The challenge is finding someone you trust with your kids, in your home. For years, we were never out together for more than 2 or 3 hours at a time. When you've had to keep an eye on the kids for every hour of every day for years, it's hare to just cut loose and let it go.

[GonZo]

Welcome back Harbl. People talk about support networks and it seemed always amazed when I say some of the best advice, and support I have ever heard is on this forum. As a fellow medical cannabis user, don't go to heavy on the stuff, you will begin to rely on it too much and it may cause a more non-functional problem. Work the meditation more and fall back to the pot when you have too. Best wishes to you and your family.

[lone-wolf]

Welcome back Harbl, my younger brother has fairly severe autism(he does require full time care), and my parents often wonder the same thing you do - who's going to look after him when they're gone. Wish I had some answers to put you at ease but I do not. I've seen it my whole childhood, it's not easy to go through.
While you refocus on your family, I implore you to maintain some social/friend time, there's some support and relaxation. I saw it in my parents for decades, neglecting yourself too much doesn't help anyone, don't burn out. I've seen my parents go through a lot of what BSD is saying, except support on PEI is near non-existent, or was at least a decade ago. It seemed to amount to a publicly funded in school daycare for special needs. I hope I am wrong in remembering this, the people involved were at least excellent care givers.
You're definitely in the best province to provide the best for your children from the sounds of it.

[shootemup604]

Welcome back buddy. Nice to see you here again - wondered what had happened with the C7 discussion and investing, etc.

Keep the faith. I'm the worst kind of Christian who falls back on religion only when everything is going wrong, but that's when you need it most.

[Rory McCanuck]

It's really good to see you around again Harbl, we've missed you.
I'm sorry that you've had to get to such a low point to be able to come back, but I'm glad you have, as GonZo said it is a pretty good support network here.

I have nothing to say that will help with your dealings with your daughters, other than to say that what I do know of you suggests that you're doing your best to be as good a dad as possible. The fact that you've announced your shortcomings and have tried to change them puts you so far ahead of so many people it isn't funny.

As for developing a tolerance, switch strains for a while, it'll help.
Going on a drug-holiday for a bit also helps, but it'll take more than a couple days.
Or, a couple day break will only be marginally helpful.

For Mrs Harbl, just be loving and patient. It'll be hard, but there's not much you can do to help depression itself, that has to be her job. Do what you can to eliminate the in-law anxiety.

Please, both of you, be very careful using pot to deal with mental health, it can be quite dangerous and make it much worse. I'm not saying in all cases, but it can exacerbate things, and can become addictive in its own right, searching from some relief from depression.

My heart goes out to you bud, there may not be a lot we can do here, but we can listen.
And rib you about being a Brony ;D

[kennymo]

I have a five year old daughter now.....I’m up to season 7....

Two of my nephews are autistic, and several cousin’s kids. One of them is now in his early 20’s and is now living only semi-assisted and holding a job. He wasn’t even expected to learn how to talk in the beginning. I can only echo the statements of others in that early investment and sweat equity pays off. Get signed up for as many programs and as much assistance as you can. Every bit helps, and look after yourself once in a while. My wife was sick for two years, it left us both pretty mentally drained. The little breaks add up and make a difference in the end.

Good to see you again.

[SIR VEYOR]

Welcome back. It’s the person not the username we care about.

Anything to help, just let us know, and we’ll get something thrown together until you find better. (Horribly butchered ST quote, but oh well).

[GTW]

Good to have you back. Take time to celebrate the small victories every time you can. Longest journeys start with single steps, sometimes baby steps.

[R&R Rancher]

FWIW Harbl my son is a high functioning Autistic. He just turned 18 last month. For him the key was early diagnosis and enrolment in what was called the ABA program through the ST. Amant center. These are Manitoba based programs but Alberta will have similar. They provided an in house tutor 7.5 hours a day 5 days a week until he went to school. We were then able to get him into the school age ABA program. The school hired an EA and let the ABA teach her how to work with him.

I remember when the program first started. He was tantruming over a dozen times a day. His speech was delayed and his frustration level over being unable to communicate beyond grunts and gestures was high. This was the root cause of the tantrums. As his language skills and coping skills increased his tantruming disappeared. That was a huge burden lifted off our shoulders. Just one of the first of many small victories.

BSD gave you great advice. Get out there and advocate for your children. Everything I’ve seen and read says that if you delay the critical help your child needs then you will miss the window where the help can do the most good. When my son was diagnosed he was two. Doctors told us there was nothing that could be done. We have a weekly play session for kids like him and a monthly get together for parents. They also said, oh by the way I hope you have a good support network because you are going to need it. Had we followed that advice we would have destroyed any potential future our son had. We had been told about the ABA by another family we knew that had an autistic child.

My son has a good chance of leading what most would call a normal life. It may take him a bit longer to acquire life skills than his peers, but he will get there. He still faces challenges, but don’t we all?

[firemachine69]

So, uhm, when we gonna start talking about gold bullion again? :)

[shortandlong]

Welcome back “h” I have never seen a my little poney without thinking of some of your crazy posts lols

My 2 year old daughter is a fan when she isn’t being a precious terror .

All that and transitioning out of the mob eh ?

Ya been through a lot nice to hear from you

[NickYYC]

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[JustBen]

I can always use GOC to sell all that .223 Nork Surplus Ammo I bought 5-6 years ago at a 30% return...

Boxer primed?

[NickYYC]

Delete

[shortandlong]

Hey man , they're just things people and family are forever where I stand is that it’s on us to preserve things to pass on to the next generation

[awndray]

If you're not bankrupt, you're not broke. I know, because I've been there. But if you feel you're broke and are desperately trying to free up some cash, selling off surplus guns and ammo is a good start. Are you still hoarding precious metals and crypto? Do you still have real estate to your name? Are you not well versed in investing?

Instead of self-medicating and self-diagnosing, have you considered seeking help from a professional? If you're doing so for your child, why not for yourself?

[pewpew62]

Harbl, having a dependent adult son (early onset schizophrenia, he is also a brony, has the tat's to prove it), we understand the fear of what will happen to them after we pass. There is a lawyer in Calgary, Gordon and Anne Vanderleek who are very familiar with estate planning for parents of children with disabilities. One word, RDSP. My mother has been very generous and my wife has been great at saving all the cash gifts #1 son has received since birth (he's 34 now). It's starting to grow into a rather substantial stash. My niece has agreed to be his trustee once we're no longer able. So there are steps you can take to give yourselves some peace of mind.

It crushes me to put myself in his shoes, it is a life of extreme isolation and loneliness. He's a strapping 6'2 blonde blue-eyed hunk that the hunnies go wild over,...until they talk to him and can't make sense of what he's saying. I think that would be worse than being simply ignored. Sure, I escape into drink at times, but my skills at dealing with our situation continue to improve. So it does get better friend, my aha moment came when I decided to accept the hand we were dealt. I mean,..truly accept and embrace. I was horrible in the beginning, so fearful and ignorant of what was happening, I would stay out late drinking and fill every moment doing something other than supporting my spouse. I was scared. It sounds like you are coming to terms and developing some coping skills. Take care and like BSD says, don't be afraid of being the squeaky wheel. Learn the lingo of the healthcare professionals so you can better communicate with them. It does get better, just hang in there pal.

[DanN]

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***POOF***

I wonder what happened...

[awndray]

Looks like people are replying to a ghost.

[shortandlong]

Sad , hope he comes back

[NickYYC]

Sorry everyone, I had to delete my previous posts, namely because I was skirting around an extremely hard truth and most of what I said wasn't accurate (that and my wife told me to delete them).

After a huge THC vape session, meditating, and praying, God revealed to me that truth.

I have to make the hardest decision of my life in the coming weeks and I have to prepare for it.

I may not be a specialist in the fields of child psychology and neurology, but I am confident I am one of the best Software Engineers in Calgary, and as such, I am able to understand and troubleshoot extraordinarily complex systems outside of the domain of Software Engineering.

In my training as an engineer, I never learnt how mobile GIS platforms worked, nor military C4ISR systems, nor electrical grid power pool billing, hotel booking systems, construction management and fixture scoping management, or contracts for financial and physical commodities trading... oh and blockchain technology. I'm fully confident in saying I can demonstrate expertise in all of these fields close to or exceding an expert level.

Each of those fields, some seemingly benign or mundane, are of a comparable complexity to the somatic, pneumatic and psychological systems of each human being - of which I have spent the past 10 months obsessing over with greater vigor than I have any of those other areas in an effort to find the answer to curing my daughter.

I'm taking a stress leave from work. Before I left, I told my boss, "You know I have a 'monster truck' of a mind." He agreed.

Most men can't find what that answer is. I can. I have. It took me 10 months or redlining to do it.

The hardest decision is figuring out how I will sacrifice everything I have worked for these past 20 years to manifest it.

I am absolutely prepared to give it all up to heal my family.

"For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?" - Mark 8:36

The soul is the mind...

[Doug_M]

The hardest decision is figuring out how I will sacrifice everything I have worked for these past 20 years to manifest it.

I am absolutely prepared to give it all up to heal my family.

That's not hard brother, once you realize "everything" is your family and not what you're about to sacrifice. Good luck, good journey, and best wishes to your family.

[R&R Rancher]

The biggest thing you need to sacrifice is your time. It all boils down to that.

[blacksmithden]

The biggest thing you need to sacrifice is your time. It all boils down to that.

Agreed.

Harb…..I hate to tell you this, but there some pretty big brains already working on the autism issue and have been for a few decades now. A family acquaintance of ours is one of the leading autism researchers in the world and he's now working right here in Edmonton. He has more IQ points in his little finger than most of us could ever dream of having in our whole being. He doesn't work directly with kids in a therapy sense. He's in the research end of things. Brilliant man.

I'm not saying you couldn't make great contributions to helping (not necessarily curing) people with autism using your talents. As I'm sure you've already learned, autism is a genetic thing. Unless you plan on becoming a genetic engineer, you're not going to "cure" it. I'm going to be really blunt here, so I hope you're not offended. I think you're trying to hide from dealing with your daughter directly and your personal escape is telling yourself that you're going to work on a cure rather than working WITH her. I've seen other parents of autistic kids doing similar things....hiding in their work. Trust me on this. If you focus your energy on working WITH her, you'll yield far better results than trying to find an actual cure. She is going to need a lot of direct work and patience on your part. You are going to have to take her places, work on her speech, work with her on general life skills. Teaching her things like getting dressed and person hygiene are going to take a lot more effort than your average kid. The mistake I think you're about to make is you're going to try and bury yourself in work and leave all the other stuff up to your wife. I can't put into mere words how much I think that will be a huge mistake that you'll live to regret.

[NickYYC]

Agreed.

Harb…..I hate to tell you this, but there some pretty big brains already working on the autism issue and have been for a few decades now. A family acquaintance of ours is one of the leading autism researchers in the world and he's now working right here in Edmonton. He has more IQ points in his little finger than most of us could ever dream of having in our whole being. He doesn't work directly with kids in a therapy sense. He's in the research end of things. Brilliant man.

I'm not saying you couldn't make great contributions to helping (not necessarily curing) people with autism using your talents. As I'm sure you've already learned, autism is a genetic thing. Unless you plan on becoming a genetic engineer, you're not going to "cure" it. I'm going to be really blunt here, so I hope you're not offended. I think you're trying to hide from dealing with your daughter directly and your personal escape is telling yourself that you're going to work on a cure rather than working WITH her. I've seen other parents of autistic kids doing similar things....hiding in their work. Trust me on this. If you focus your energy on working WITH her, you'll yield far better results than trying to find an actual cure. She is going to need a lot of direct work and patience on your part. You are going to have to take her places, work on her speech, work with her on general life skills. Teaching her things like getting dressed and person hygiene are going to take a lot more effort than your average kid. The mistake I think you're about to make is you're going to try and bury yourself in work and leave it all the other stuff up to your wife. I can't put into mere words how much I think that will be a huge mistake that you'll live to regret.

Genetic engineering is not that dissimilar from software engineering. If anything, given the size and scope of the human genome, I'd say genetic engineering is quite amateurish in comparison to some of the systems I've worked on. That said, where I'm coming from was from burying myself in my work to become the best at what I was doing to contemplating completely abandoning my career to heal my child. Fortunately for me, there's massive overlap in the competencies in a genetic engineer and a software engineer.

What you're describing is more or less what I'm contemplating doing.

I'm leaning very heavily towards selling all my possessions and expending most of my wealth specifically so that I can focus on healing and teaching my daughters.

You see, the thing is there is no general "cure" for autism (that being, by Western medicine's standards, there's nothing that can be prescribed for it), but there is a unique way to cure each autistic child.

The key is to form a physical, mental, and spiritual bond with and enable genetic expression and neurogenesis of the brain to develop capabilities within the child to overcome the inherent "defects" in genetic expression that manifest as what we know as autism.

The thing is, it's bullshit that everything is genetic. Some things are, most things are not.

The vast majority of illness is manifest through unresolved trauma in one of the 3 elements of each human being: the mind, body, and spirit.

Cancer, diabetes, Alzheimers, heart disease and stroke - and yes, autism.

The problem with Western medicine is it's reliance on scientific empiricism through study of the physical properties of the body. However the mind and spirit don't operate under the rules of the physical world.

All science at it's core is the sampling of states of of matter and energy within linear units of time. The thing is, the mind, and with it, human consciousness demonstrably does not function within the boundaries of the time scale we rely on for scientific experimentation. Try some psychedelics like cannabis and develop a meditation practice and you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.

This is why so many illnesses, including the one's that are in the top 10 list of causes of death within the West (most specifically, Canada and the US) "have no cure."

Western medicine is great at healing mass physical trauma, but completely neglects mental and spiritual trauma. I am certain integrating treatment modalities for all 3 is key to remedying the worst symptoms of autism... challenge is, it all comes at a cost... mine may well be everything I've worked for the past 20 years.

[awndray]

After a huge THC vape session, meditating, and praying, God revealed to me that truth.

In my training as an engineer, I never learnt how mobile GIS platforms worked, nor military C4ISR systems, nor electrical grid power pool billing, hotel booking systems, construction management and fixture scoping management, or contracts for financial and physical commodities trading... oh and blockchain technology. I'm fully confident in saying I can demonstrate expertise in all of these fields close to or exceding an expert level.


Genetic engineering is not that dissimilar from software engineering. If anything, given the size and scope of the human genome, I'd say genetic engineering is quite amateurish in comparison to some of the systems I've worked on. That said, where I'm coming from was from burying myself in my work to become the best at what I was doing to contemplating completely abandoning my career to heal my child. Fortunately for me, there's massive overlap in the competencies in a genetic engineer and a software engineer.

The vast majority of illness is manifest through unresolved trauma in one of the 3 elements of each human being: the mind, body, and spirit.

Cancer, diabetes, Alzheimers, heart disease and stroke - and yes, autism.

The problem with Western medicine is it's reliance on scientific empiricism through study of the physical properties of the body. However the mind and spirit don't operate under the rules of the physical world.

Wow. Good luck. Unsubscribed.

[Grey_Wolf]

Wow. Good luck. Unsubscribed.

Yeah, I'm with ya

[blacksmithden]

I wish you all the luck in the world sir. After raising 3 kids with autism, I think you're going to need it.

[R&R Rancher]

This isn’t the US where you read horror stories of people going 6 figures in debt to try and get help for their autistic children. There is financial aid available and if you advocate hard enough, trained workers who can do more good in those early years than you can. Quitting your job and selling off most of your worldly possessions will bite you later. You still need to provide a home for your family. Balance is needed.

[DanN]

It's difficult to say this without sounding like a complete a-hole.. but it's what I would say to the very best of my friends, even if it meant risking our friendship...

You gotta lay off the THC, man. Before you liquidate everything you own in the belief that you can fix something experts all over the world are working on, you need to clear your head. THC is a mind altering drug; Harbl the Cat was a much more intelligent sounding person than NickYYC. You sound like an old hippy now. I'm honestly concerned for your well being.

[NickYYC]

I wish you all the luck in the world sir. After raising 3 kids with autism, I think you're going to need it.

I'm pretty sure I know how to both RAISE and RECOVER my autistic girl. Like I said, I've been redlining my formidable engineering intellect harder on this than I have anything in my professional career - and I've done some pretty hardcore stuff as an engineer.

I was at my daughter's school yesterday meeting the teachers and I was taken a back by a few key points. Namely the limitations of their abilities to connect with and train my daughter and of the bleak outlook of the prescribed education path set out for her.

Basically, to throw her into the conventional academic system, with (by my expectations) limited support for her significant disability.

In my heart, I know that's a recipe for failure for her.

The recipe for success for her is in my (and my wife's) presence during the prime waking hours and expansion of techniques we have been using over the past 2 years that have garnered results.

2 years ago, she was a zombie child.

She couldn't socialize, couldn't verbalize, couldn't learn.

But my wife (primarily) moved heaven and earth focusing especially on her diet, and saw rapid improvement on many of her worst symptoms.

One of the major challenges we face is that 2 years ago when we were starting her in her special needs school, she cut and dry had all the symptoms of an autistic child, but there was a miscommunication between her main teacher and my wife to the affect that: "an autism diagnosis doesn't really matter." What she meant was: "In so far as services offered at the school are concerned, the autism diagnosis didn't matter."

She just had a GDD diagnoses, but everyone including her teachers, knew she was autistic. We thought that was enough, and didn't get the diagnosis in time.

So my wife and I went on a crusade to try every treatment modality possible to bring her out of it, and she went from being unable to go out 5 minutes in public without stimming to the point of unable to walk, violent headbanging, smearing her feces on her face, with the skin on the rest of her body melting from eczema, being in a disassociated stupor to being almost verbal, able to walk, run, and climb, interact with strangers and family members, almost potty trained (but still feces smearing occasionally), and semi-cognizant of her surroundings (but not to the point of not knowing to not run into traffic).

One of the ironies is because we didn't get the diagnosis 2 years ago and we've progressed ahead light years from where she was (but still nowhere near to the point of being neurotypical) -
we might not even be able to get her a formal autism diagnosis now (so said her teachers).

It pushed us to our limits, since, primarily, we went to an organic, vegan, no grain, no dairy, no processed, whole food diet (which with 4 kids isn't cheap - we spend about $5k/month on groceries). Not to mention the sheer amount of time it takes doing food prep.

Tack on a full time caregiver as well so my wife could still work part time, and I'd say around $100k of our annual budget goes just into that element alone.

I have to say, it's been truly miraculous the PHYSICAL turnaround in my daughter's condition - but the MENTAL and SPIRITUAL elements are the next step in either fully recovering her or in at least developing her to the point that she can be independent enough to not fail in the system designed for neurotypical children.

There is practically zero focus on either mental or spiritual health in either our healthcare or education systems, but both elements are vital for the health of everyone.

It doesn't matter what you do to take care of your body if you don't take care of your mind and spirit. The mind and spirit guide the subconscious faculties, which themselves have cognitive and computational powers far beyond the conscious faculties - whose primary focus is to simply analyze, contextualize and prioritize sensory input, then keep it in volatile memory for other neurological faculties (both conscious and subconscious) to process either for emotional or memory regulation (i.e. - learn).

The biggest problem is our society is purposely designed to leverage the crystallized intellect as opposed to fluid intellect. That's why Engineering was considered a reputable trade in the past - because Engineers were supposed to have substantial crystallized intellect through their training. We were supposed to remember facts and figures and know how to repeatedly apply them in generally similar circumstances. That worked building a bridge, road, or well-site.

In contract, Architecture, relies much more on fluid intellect and the ability to imagine new, novel concepts. Most architects don't get paid very well (compared to Engineers), because (for now) our society doesn't value the architect's ability to produce novel concepts and ideas and instead values the Engineers ability to regurgitate established facts to solve specific problems.

What gives me the confidence to recover my daughter from her autistic symptoms is that Software Engineers like me are able to create automation bots that make those kinds of engineers redundant - and that process requires a synergy of both crystallized and fluid intellect.

A good software engineer has to have the ability to mentally regress almost into a child like state and view the world as it is: a chaotic whirlwind of infinite potential, and then to apply learnt development techniques to structure a completely new and novel order out of that same chaos.

That actually is the process of learning. It's quite a bit more nuanced than that, but I think that's sufficient of a generalization to make the point. (Fun side fact: almost EVERY software engineer in Silicon Valley microdoses either cannabis or psilocybin. So do most billionaires.)

Every autistic child is different, but I'm pretty I know the sub-processes that my daughter either lacks or that is dysfunctional and I know how to solve it. I'm actually a software tester and my job is to find bugs in software. Our cognitive functions are just like software.

That's what I categorize within the domain of the mind and spirit, what the Bible calls the psyche (soul) and the pneuma (breath), and just as ALL software has bugs, our internal psychological software has bugs as well. With autistic kids, it's just a matter of finding and fixing them.

Thing is, it's often the case in software engineering, and I think equally so within the human psyche that finding bugs can be easy, fixing can be VERY hard (or vice versa).

Anyways, I'm really just writing this because I know for me, one undesirable feature of my internal psychological software is my tendency to hyper analyze to the point I get lost in the details. What is uncharacteristic about me as an Engineer is that creative writing is one outlet that helps me clear those forms of thought paralysis (you should see my handwritten journals over the past 2 years).

Speaking also helps me as well, and if you're interested, I have been making a lot of videos on this topic over the past 8 months on my YouTube channel, which started off documenting my shooting escapades, but once I had identified shooting as becoming a harmful addiction, I re-purposed to focus (more) on autism recovery.

If you want to go deeper down the rabbit hole of my mind, please check it out:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCe9Au6A-QA5n8YzYA0ao8qw/videos

This video was my breaking point back during Christmas. The context of it was that I was "medicating" the pain of the impact of my daughter's autism (and more specifically, the pain it had on my wife) by shooting and buying guns... I'm at the point now, I think I'm ready to give up on shooting.

A few grams of bud are a lot cheaper than a new rifle and cases of surplus ammo...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huf5N3j0NIY

Oh, I'm also pretty proud of the fact that with hypnosis and cannabis, I've get myself in the best physical shape of my life. I was a real fat-body before.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBkR7pb9o3w

And of course, one of the 4 times I hit the range this year. I think I placed 5th/40 overall despite my screwups. I guess I should have been carrying more ammo or done more pushups.

In truth, I don't think I'll hit any matches next year.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcZSebMFiss

I also was interviewed in CCFR's show Canada Down Range last year. I haven't seen it, but the guy in the OD 5.11 Tactec - that was me. I liked kitting up, wearing as much gear as possible, and doing pushups so I don't feel guilty about abandoning my wife and kids to "relax" shooting.

[DanN]

...once I had identified shooting as becoming a harmful addiction...

That might not be the only one at play here.

I wish you luck, and I wish you well. I'm sure you will do all you can to help your daughter - just don't forget to step back and not only enjoy watching her grow, but continue to enjoy life with your entire family.

[NickYYC]

That might not be the only one at play here.

Well the last time I checked in with my doctor, she told me my dosing was pretty typical of most patients, only she recommended I do more "off" days, which I'm on right now.

The thing about cannabis is that for recreational users, it's about inducing enough of a high to disassociate from reality.

As a medical user, I use it just enough to alleviate the symptoms of my illnesses: depression, anxiety, and insomnia.

To be honest, this attitude is why I'm not voting conservative (if I vote at all). Conservatives for years have held to this dogmatic belief that cannabis is this evil substance that rots your brain.

Certainly it has the potential (as do practically any pharmaceutical, as well as legal drugs, like alcohol and caffeine, but also environmental toxins, particularly news and social media), but dosed properly and with an informed mind, it is absolute miracle medicine.

The problem is all the propaganda on the War on Drugs basically lead to an intellectual black hole concerning something that should have been obvious.

Societies for hundreds of years before science was even invented knew cannabis was effective medicine, but with all our modern intellect and gadgetry we couldn't figure out something that pre-science societies figured out with ease.

You know when we talk about guns, "our side" likes to play up the idea that better mental health care is needed or that mental health is the cause of all gun violence; meanwhile, so many on "our side" hold to irrationally dogmatic and ill-informed beliefs about what is essentially a medical health panacea.

Medicinal cannabis saved my wife, my life, and my marriage.

When we first thought about using it, I was completely against the idea. I was a good "conservative."

Now I realize just how wrong "our side" has been, and how the consequence of that has been immeasurable human suffering.

If "our side" was wrong about that, what else have we been wrong about?


I wish you luck, and I wish you well. I'm sure you will do all you can to help your daughter - just don't forget to step back and not only enjoy watching her grow, but continue to enjoy life with your entire family.

Life isn't about enjoyment. I have very little enjoyment in my life.

I have purpose and meaning.

When enjoyment comes my way, I'm grateful for it.

But purpose and meaning, though not as enjoyable, vastly beat enjoyment.

[Dewey Cox]

You are coming across as a lunatic.
Please be aware of that.

[DanN]

"my dosing was pretty typical of most patients (who dose)," ... "she recommended I do more "off" days" which politely means she thinks you're doing too much.

"alleviate the symptoms of my illnesses: depression, anxiety, and insomnia" = "disassociate from reality"

"Conservatives for years have held to this dogmatic belief that cannabis is this evil substance that rots your brain." Ad hominem, and over-reaching. Not all cons, so to speak. And remember, the PPC are still cons. Pot, meet kettle. (Pun intended)

"dosed properly and with an informed mind" Can a dosed mind be reliably informed, or is it inherently biased due to the dosing?

"absolute miracle medicine" Evidence req'd

The only real reason I don't argue against pot is because to be intellectually consistent I'd have to argue against alcohol, too. Do you believe that if used in the same way alcohol is different from pot?

"Societies for hundreds of years before science was even invented knew cannabis was effective medicine" Which societies? You mean the ones that didn't invent the wheel, or the ones who did ritual human sacrifices?

"so many on "our side" hold to irrationally dogmatic and ill-informed beliefs about what is essentially a medical health panacea" says every pot-head I've ever met. I have yet to see any study that shows pot cured anything worse than a hangover.

"Medicinal cannabis saved my wife, my life, and my marriage." I hope that's true. Now, and into the future.

"I was a good "conservative."" In my experience, political affiliation has little to no reflection on who smokes pot; I see many on both sides of the political spectrum. This is perhaps a dogma you hold yourself and project on others.

"Life isn't about enjoyment. I have very little enjoyment in my life." That's a problem, not just a symptom.

[JustBen]

You are coming across as a lunatic.
Please be aware of that.

X2.

Also when you refer to software engineering it sounds like you're doing computer programming. Which is not engineering. If you aren't registered with APEGA (or the equivalent provincial body), you cannot call yourself an engineer anywhere in Canada.

[NickYYC]

"my dosing was pretty typical of most patients (who dose)," ... "she recommended I do more "off" days" which politely means she thinks you're doing too much. - "too much" would be to quit. She made no such recommendation

"alleviate the symptoms of my illnesses: depression, anxiety, and insomnia" = "disassociate from reality" I used to think so too, until I realized just how severe of an illness depression especially can be.

"Conservatives for years have held to this dogmatic belief that cannabis is this evil substance that rots your brain." Ad hominem, and over-reaching. Not all cons, so to speak. And remember, the PPC are still cons. Pot, meet kettle. (Pun intended) I feel the PPC are more nationalist/libertarian than conservatives. I think that split is going to grow wider on a wide range of issues, cannabis in particular, and especially between the Libertarians and SoCon's

"dosed properly and with an informed mind" Can a dosed mind be reliably informed, or is it inherently biased due to the dosing? I used to not think so either until I did the research and experimentation, under a Doctor's supervision. For anyone in Calgary, I highly recommend this clinic: https://hmed.ca/

"absolute miracle medicine" Evidence req'd Research required. I've done mine.

The only real reason I don't argue against pot is because to be intellectually consistent I'd have to argue against alcohol, too. Do you believe that if used in the same way alcohol is different from pot? No. That's not to say they both don't have risks, but doing the research, alcohol has a greater likelihood to induce negative side effects. Jordan Peterson put it very eloquently here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cjWfX8E04c

"Societies for hundreds of years before science was even invented knew cannabis was effective medicine" Which societies? You mean the ones that didn't invent the wheel, or the ones who did ritual human sacrifices? Scythians, Greeks, Romans, Thracians, English, Israelis, French, Indian. Heck, even the Americans before the 1930's used it the same way we use Tylenol.

"so many on "our side" hold to irrationally dogmatic and ill-informed beliefs about what is essentially a medical health panacea" says every pot-head I've ever met. I have yet to see any study that shows pot cured anything worse than a hangover. Could it be because for most of the last century it was a Schedule 1 Controlled Substance and it was illegal to research it in the US?

"Medicinal cannabis saved my wife, my life, and my marriage." I hope that's true. Now, and into the future. Believe me, it is.

"I was a good "conservative."" In my experience, political affiliation has little to no reflection on who smokes pot; I see many on both sides of the political spectrum. This is perhaps a dogma you hold yourself and project on others. It was certainly the belief I held prior when I was an ardent (and suffering) conservative. So were (and are) many of my conservative peers.

"Life isn't about enjoyment. I have very little enjoyment in my life." That's a problem, not just a symptom. "The pursuit of happiness is a pointless goal" - Jordan Peterson.
Meaning trumps happiness. Happiness in excess turns you into a hedonist when it's abundant, a nihilist when it is scarce.

Meaning enriches life when happiness is present, and sustains it when it is gone.



X2.

To what extend have you researched and used medical cannabis?


Also when you refer to software engineering it sounds like you're doing computer programming. Which is not engineering. If you aren't registered with APEGA (or the equivalent provincial body), you cannot call yourself an engineer anywhere in Canada.

I am a registered P.Eng. with a degree in Software Engineering, 15 years practicing in the industry. Programming is a part of Software Engineering, but my industry specialization is Quality Assurance and Software Testing. I also have a strong background in Systems Integration, System Architecture, Systems Analysis, Business Analysis, Database Analysis, Project Management, and Technical writing.

Fun fact, generally speaking, industry experienced Canadian Software Engineers are among the best in the world (because there are so few of us and we have to wear so many different hats).

[NickYYC]

You are coming across as a lunatic.


When have I not sounded like a lunatic on these forums? Awndry?

[Magi]

Reading the original post I was hopeful but the hope began to fade as I continued reading...

[lone-wolf]

When have I not sounded like a lunatic on these forums? Awndry?

lol
Good luck my man, I hope it all works out

[DanN]

"my dosing was pretty typical of most patients (who dose)," ... "she recommended I do more "off" days" which politely means she thinks you're doing too much. - "too much" would be to quit. She made no such recommendation Nobody said you can't smoke a little pot, but you can't say she doesn't think you're smoking too much

"alleviate the symptoms of my illnesses: depression, anxiety, and insomnia" = "disassociate from reality" I used to think so too, until I realized just how severe of an illness depression especially is. You're absolutely right - depression is a very serious condition.. and it requires treatment, not disassociation. You can't ignore it until it goes away.

"Conservatives for years have held to this dogmatic belief that cannabis is this evil substance that rots your brain." Ad hominem, and over-reaching. Not all cons, so to speak. And remember, the PPC are still cons. Pot, meet kettle. (Pun intended) I feel the PPC are more nationalist/libertarian than conservatives. I think that split is going to grow wider on a wide range of issues, cannabis in particular, and especially between the Libertarians and SoCon's We've spoken about this in other locations; I believe all the PPC can do right now is split the vote. I'm not even saying I have a problem with the PPC per se (other than being non-electable). You're reply is non sequitur.

"dosed properly and with an informed mind" Can a dosed mind be reliably informed, or is it inherently biased due to the dosing? I used to not think so either until I did the research and experimentation, under a Doctor's supervision. For anyone in Calgary, I highly recommend this clinic: https://hmed.ca/ That's akin to watching TYT for advice on Conservatives.

"absolute miracle medicine" Evidence req'd Research required. I've done mine. I'll have to take your word for it. Pitty it hasn't saved the world yet.

The only real reason I don't argue against pot is because to be intellectually consistent I'd have to argue against alcohol, too. Do you believe that if used in the same way alcohol is different from pot? No. That's not to say they both don't have risks, but doing the research, alcohol has a greater likelihood to induce negative side effects I don't think we'll really know the answer to this until it has been legal long enough to have actual, evidence based medical stats. Same goes for vaping - no one really knows what effects it will have long term.

"Societies for hundreds of years before science was even invented knew cannabis was effective medicine" Which societies? You mean the ones that didn't invent the wheel, or the ones who did ritual human sacrifices? Scythians, Greeks, Romans, Thracians, English, Israelis, French, Indian. Heck, even the Americans before the 1930's used it the same way we use Tylenol. And those were some pretty crappy times to live in. Society has learned a little and advanced a little since then. IE, you can't really use the antikythera mechanism as a good example of how to design logic circuits today, as brilliant a machine as it is.

"so many on "our side" hold to irrationally dogmatic and ill-informed beliefs about what is essentially a medical health panacea" says every pot-head I've ever met. I have yet to see any study that shows pot cured anything worse than a hangover. Could it be because for most of the last century it was a Schedule 1 Controlled Substance and it was illegal to research it in the US? Medial use pot has been legal for a long time, and it's only used as a pain killer. Not a cure for anything.

"Medicinal cannabis saved my wife, my life, and my marriage." I hope that's true. Now, and into the future. Believe me, it is. Awesome.

"I was a good "conservative."" In my experience, political affiliation has little to no reflection on who smokes pot; I see many on both sides of the political spectrum. This is perhaps a dogma you hold yourself and project on others. It was certainly the belief I held prior when I was an ardent (and suffering) conservative. So were (and are) many of my conservative peers. I would ask how you've suffered, but more importantly I think you'd agree you suffer more under a Liberal gov't.

"Life isn't about enjoyment. I have very little enjoyment in my life." That's a problem, not just a symptom. "The pursuit of happiness is a pointless goal" - Jordan Peterson.
Meaning trumps happiness. Happiness in excess turns you into a hedonist when it's abundant, a nihilist when it is scarce. Ironically, that's a nihilistic comment. A smile and a laugh go a long way.

Meaning enriches life when happiness is present, and sustains it when it is gone. No one is arguing a good life doesn't require meaning, but it does require happiness in equal measure. For now I'll assume your happiness will be found in the future health of your child, and that is the other part that drives you forward.

[NickYYC]

lol
Good luck my man, I hope it all works out

Thanks. It's been a real roller coaster, that's for sure.

[NickYYC]

"my dosing was pretty typical of most patients (who dose)," ... "she recommended I do more "off" days" which politely means she thinks you're doing too much. - "too much" would be to quit. She made no such recommendation Nobody said you can't smoke a little pot, but you can't say she doesn't think you're smoking too much I'm not telepathic, but I know exactly that she said "try to take 2 days off a week instead of one, but other than that you're doing good."

"alleviate the symptoms of my illnesses: depression, anxiety, and insomnia" = "disassociate from reality" I used to think so too, until I realized just how severe of an illness depression especially is. You're absolutely right - depression is a very serious condition.. and it requires treatment, not disassociation. You can't ignore it until it goes away. I never said I disassociated from reality, I said I used it to reduce the symptoms of my depression, anxiety, and insomnia. When I started out before I knew my dosing limitations, I had a few "trips." They weren't as bad as I thought they would be (my wife thought they were funny) - but I scaled it back, and as I've developed a tolerance, I don't trip at all. Now all I feel is calm and sleepy, which enables me to either focus, work out, or get a good night's sleep

"Conservatives for years have held to this dogmatic belief that cannabis is this evil substance that rots your brain." Ad hominem, and over-reaching. Not all cons, so to speak. And remember, the PPC are still cons. Pot, meet kettle. (Pun intended) I feel the PPC are more nationalist/libertarian than conservatives. I think that split is going to grow wider on a wide range of issues, cannabis in particular, and especially between the Libertarians and SoCon's We've spoken about this in other locations; I believe all the PPC can do right now is split the vote. I'm not even saying I have a problem with the PPC per se (other than being non-electable). You're reply is non sequitur. I was trying ot highlight that the grand conservative coalition is going to break apart, probably along the lines of the Libertarians vs the SoCon's. I think the SoCon's especially have the worst perspective concerning cannabis and that it can't be reconciled with the Libertarian perspective

"dosed properly and with an informed mind" Can a dosed mind be reliably informed, or is it inherently biased due to the dosing? I used to not think so either until I did the research and experimentation, under a Doctor's supervision. For anyone in Calgary, I highly recommend this clinic: https://hmed.ca/ That's akin to watching TYT for advice on Conservatives. A registered medical clinic specializing in cannabis? What would be better? Google? (although I use both)

"absolute miracle medicine" Evidence req'd Research required. I've done mine. I'll have to take your word for it. Pitty it hasn't saved the world yet. Wait until it's legalized in the US. That's what I'm watching for.

The only real reason I don't argue against pot is because to be intellectually consistent I'd have to argue against alcohol, too. Do you believe that if used in the same way alcohol is different from pot? No. That's not to say they both don't have risks, but doing the research, alcohol has a greater likelihood to induce negative side effects I don't think we'll really know the answer to this until it has been legal long enough to have actual, evidence based medical stats. Same goes for vaping - no one really knows what effects it will have long term.The research is sparse, but then again, abundant long term research in autism has yielded nothing useful either.

"Societies for hundreds of years before science was even invented knew cannabis was effective medicine" Which societies? You mean the ones that didn't invent the wheel, or the ones who did ritual human sacrifices? Scythians, Greeks, Romans, Thracians, English, Israelis, French, Indian. Heck, even the Americans before the 1930's used it the same way we use Tylenol. And those were some pretty crappy times to live in. Society has learned a little and advanced a little since then. IE, you can't really use the antikythera mechanism as a good example of how to design logic circuits today, as brilliant a machine as it is.While we've progressed in some ways, we've regressed in very many others. Look at what kills people these days. Mostly owing to diet and lifestyle changes, most of which are a result of some underlying psychological pathology. Why don't people live healthier lives when we have an abundance of technological miracles? Stress especially, is dangerous. Believe me I know.

"so many on "our side" hold to irrationally dogmatic and ill-informed beliefs about what is essentially a medical health panacea" says every pot-head I've ever met. I have yet to see any study that shows pot cured anything worse than a hangover. Could it be because for most of the last century it was a Schedule 1 Controlled Substance and it was illegal to research it in the US? Medial use pot has been legal for a long time, and it's only used as a pain killer. Not a cure for anything.Pain causes stress. See previous point.

"Medicinal cannabis saved my wife, my life, and my marriage." I hope that's true. Now, and into the future. Believe me, it is. Awesome. Thanks!

"I was a good "conservative."" In my experience, political affiliation has little to no reflection on who smokes pot; I see many on both sides of the political spectrum. This is perhaps a dogma you hold yourself and project on others. It was certainly the belief I held prior when I was an ardent (and suffering) conservative. So were (and are) many of my conservative peers. I would ask how you've suffered, but more importantly I think you'd agree you suffer more under a Liberal gov't.Raising a developmentally impaired child comes with enormous suffering. So much so, the thought of having my AR's doesn't bother me half as much as contemplating what struggles my daughter will face.

"Life isn't about enjoyment. I have very little enjoyment in my life." That's a problem, not just a symptom. "The pursuit of happiness is a pointless goal" - Jordan Peterson.
Meaning trumps happiness. Happiness in excess turns you into a hedonist when it's abundant, a nihilist when it is scarce. Ironically, that's a nihilistic comment. A smile and a laugh go a long way. I'm not opposed to happiness, I just realize it's important to pursue meaning and be grateful when happiness comes your way

Meaning enriches life when happiness is present, and sustains it when it is gone. No one is arguing a good life doesn't require meaning, but it does require happiness in equal measure. For now I'll assume your happiness will be found in the future health of your child, and that is the other part that drives you forward.My meaning is found in the future health of my children. I think the thing that makes me happy is the thought of lying on my deathbed 80 - 90 years from now, surrounded by a small legion of descendants, and my last thought as I leave this world being "Praise God, that was a good life."

3 chars

[SIR VEYOR]

Just for fun,


L RON HARBL

[DanN]

"my dosing was pretty typical of most patients (who dose)," ... "she recommended I do more "off" days" which politely means she thinks you're doing too much. - "too much" would be to quit. She made no such recommendation Nobody said you can't smoke a little pot, but you can't say she doesn't think you're smoking too much I'm not telepathic, but I know exactly that she said "try to take 2 days off a week instead of one, but other than that you're doing good." Let's not be obtuse Harbl; why do you think she suggested you triple your off days?

"alleviate the symptoms of my illnesses: depression, anxiety, and insomnia" = "disassociate from reality" I used to think so too, until I realized just how severe of an illness depression especially is. You're absolutely right - depression is a very serious condition.. and it requires treatment, not disassociation. You can't ignore it until it goes away. I never said I disassociated from reality, I said I used it to reduce the symptoms of my depression, anxiety, and insomnia. When I started out before I knew my dosing limitations, I had a few "trips." They weren't as bad as I thought they would be (my wife thought they were funny) - but I scaled it back, and as I've developed a tolerance, I don't trip at all. Now all I feel is calm and sleepy, which enables me to either focus, work out, or get a good night's sleep Based on the things you say I think it is having an effect. And you not seeing it is part of that.

"Conservatives for years have held to this dogmatic belief that cannabis is this evil substance that rots your brain." Ad hominem, and over-reaching. Not all cons, so to speak. And remember, the PPC are still cons. Pot, meet kettle. (Pun intended) I feel the PPC are more nationalist/libertarian than conservatives. I think that split is going to grow wider on a wide range of issues, cannabis in particular, and especially between the Libertarians and SoCon's We've spoken about this in other locations; I believe all the PPC can do right now is split the vote. I'm not even saying I have a problem with the PPC per se (other than being non-electable). You're reply is non sequitur. I was trying ot highlight that the grand conservative coalition is going to break apart, probably along the lines of the Libertarians vs the SoCon's. I think the SoCon's especially have the worst perspective concerning cannabis and that it can't be reconciled with the Libertarian perspective What is the PPC platform on pot?

"dosed properly and with an informed mind" Can a dosed mind be reliably informed, or is it inherently biased due to the dosing? I used to not think so either until I did the research and experimentation, under a Doctor's supervision. For anyone in Calgary, I highly recommend this clinic: https://hmed.ca/ That's akin to watching TYT for advice on Conservatives. A registered medical clinic specializing in cannabis? What would be better? Google? (although I use both) How about we start with a 3rd party who isn't dependent on profits.

"absolute miracle medicine" Evidence req'd Research required. I've done mine. I'll have to take your word for it. Pitty it hasn't saved the world yet. Wait until it's legalized in the US. That's what I'm watching for. What about other parts of the world where it's been legal longer? Why haven't they cured all the things?

The only real reason I don't argue against pot is because to be intellectually consistent I'd have to argue against alcohol, too. Do you believe that if used in the same way alcohol is different from pot? No. That's not to say they both don't have risks, but doing the research, alcohol has a greater likelihood to induce negative side effects I don't think we'll really know the answer to this until it has been legal long enough to have actual, evidence based medical stats. Same goes for vaping - no one really knows what effects it will have long term.The research is sparse, but then again, abundant long term research in autism has yielded nothing useful either. Nothing useful, eh? I'll bet there are some legit scientists that would take offence to that statement.

"Societies for hundreds of years before science was even invented knew cannabis was effective medicine" Which societies? You mean the ones that didn't invent the wheel, or the ones who did ritual human sacrifices? Scythians, Greeks, Romans, Thracians, English, Israelis, French, Indian. Heck, even the Americans before the 1930's used it the same way we use Tylenol. And those were some pretty crappy times to live in. Society has learned a little and advanced a little since then. IE, you can't really use the antikythera mechanism as a good example of how to design logic circuits today, as brilliant a machine as it is.While we've progressed in some ways, we've regressed in very many others. Look at what kills people these days. Mostly owing to diet and lifestyle changes, most of which are a result of some underlying psychological pathology. Why don't people live healthier lives when we have an abundance of technological miracles? Stress especially, is dangerous. Believe me I know. Forget that fact that the average life expectancy has about doubled; people commonly life past 40 these days. I'd call that significant advancement.

"so many on "our side" hold to irrationally dogmatic and ill-informed beliefs about what is essentially a medical health panacea" says every pot-head I've ever met. I have yet to see any study that shows pot cured anything worse than a hangover. Could it be because for most of the last century it was a Schedule 1 Controlled Substance and it was illegal to research it in the US? Medial use pot has been legal for a long time, and it's only used as a pain killer. Not a cure for anything.Pain causes stress. See previous point. Pot doesn't cure stress; stress is brought on by external factors that can be alleviated more effectively than short term pot use. And as you build your tolerance, you'll just need more pot..

"Medicinal cannabis saved my wife, my life, and my marriage." I hope that's true. Now, and into the future. Believe me, it is. Awesome. Thanks!

"I was a good "conservative."" In my experience, political affiliation has little to no reflection on who smokes pot; I see many on both sides of the political spectrum. This is perhaps a dogma you hold yourself and project on others. It was certainly the belief I held prior when I was an ardent (and suffering) conservative. So were (and are) many of my conservative peers. I would ask how you've suffered, but more importantly I think you'd agree you suffer more under a Liberal gov't.Raising a developmentally impaired child comes with enormous suffering. So much so, the thought of having my AR's doesn't bother me half as much as contemplating what struggles my daughter will face. Non-sequitur.

"Life isn't about enjoyment. I have very little enjoyment in my life." That's a problem, not just a symptom. "The pursuit of happiness is a pointless goal" - Jordan Peterson.
Meaning trumps happiness. Happiness in excess turns you into a hedonist when it's abundant, a nihilist when it is scarce. Ironically, that's a nihilistic comment. A smile and a laugh go a long way. I'm not opposed to happiness, I just realize it's important to pursue meaning and be grateful when happiness comes your way A healthy lifestyle includes happiness. You need it. It's good for you.

Meaning enriches life when happiness is present, and sustains it when it is gone. No one is arguing a good life doesn't require meaning, but it does require happiness in equal measure. For now I'll assume your happiness will be found in the future health of your child, and that is the other part that drives you forward.My meaning is found in the future health of my children. I think the thing that makes me happy is the thought of lying on my deathbed 80 - 90 years from now, surrounded by a small legion of descendants, and my last thought as I leave this world being "Praise God, that was a good life." You'll be pretty darn lucky if you live another 80 years. Listening to you I'm concerned you might not round out the decade.

[DanN]

A healthy lifestyle includes happiness. You need it. It's good for you.

Food for thought: Living with a curmudgeon is bad for a relationship...

"Curmudgeon" might be too strong a word, but it sounded good. What I mean to say, having done it myself, is that living with someone devoid of happiness is very, very difficult.

[Dewey Cox]

When have I not sounded like a lunatic on these forums? Awndry?

You used to come across more "quirky and eccentric".
Now you sound nuts.

Before you commit to anything serious, please give it some sober thought (emphasis on sober)

[NickYYC]

You used to come across more "quirky and eccentric".
Now you sound nuts.

Before you commit to anything serious, please give it some sober thought (emphasis on sober)

I do have 4 kids you know. By Canadian standards that automatically makes me "nuts."

We've made up our minds. We're going to try our hands at flag polling for a year in Mexico in an expat community and see if what it's like in South East Asia.

Those "developing" countries are brutal if you are native and poor, but if you port over 20 years of Canadian type savings, you basically can live like royalty.

[NickYYC]

"my dosing was pretty typical of most patients (who dose)," ... "she recommended I do more "off" days" which politely means she thinks you're doing too much. - "too much" would be to quit. She made no such recommendation Nobody said you can't smoke a little pot, but you can't say she doesn't think you're smoking too much I'm not telepathic, but I know exactly that she said "try to take 2 days off a week instead of one, but other than that you're doing good." Let's not be obtuse Harbl; why do you think she suggested you triple your off days?

Because the size of the dose you need to get the desired effect increases as your body develops a tolerance to it. Medical cannabis is basically prescribed at such a low dose compared to "heroic" doses of recreational psychonauts because the point isn't to have a psychedelic experience (although those are pretty fun and therapeutic too) - but because the positive benefits of low doses. Personally, I think we should be giving every single military veteran with PTSD 10-20 mg of THC every day, along with integrating mandatory psychological resilience training for all soldiers (basically training our troops how to perform what I call "combat meditation," or training to calm the mind and body in the face of overwhelming stress and anxiety - much in the way they describe in Robert Heinlein's book, Starship Troopers.

I take between 10-30 mg myself. The real stoners or people with very serious pain conditions take 50-500 mg / day or session. (I've had some pretty good psychedelic experiences at about 40-50 mg myself - but don't do that too often - maybe once every few months).

"alleviate the symptoms of my illnesses: depression, anxiety, and insomnia" = "disassociate from reality" I used to think so too, until I realized just how severe of an illness depression especially is. You're absolutely right - depression is a very serious condition.. and it requires treatment, not disassociation. You can't ignore it until it goes away. I never said I disassociated from reality, I said I used it to reduce the symptoms of my depression, anxiety, and insomnia. When I started out before I knew my dosing limitations, I had a few "trips." They weren't as bad as I thought they would be (my wife thought they were funny) - but I scaled it back, and as I've developed a tolerance, I don't trip at all. Now all I feel is calm and sleepy, which enables me to either focus, work out, or get a good night's sleep Based on the things you say I think it is having an effect. And you not seeing it is part of that. I see the effects very well - I can sleep well, wake up rested, not be anxious or worried during the day, focus and concentrate on highly complex tasks, break bad habits (like comfort shopping / stress eating / watching pornography / lose my temper), and establish new, positive ones (eat well, exercise, meditate, pray, be calm and in control of my temper)

"Conservatives for years have held to this dogmatic belief that cannabis is this evil substance that rots your brain." Ad hominem, and over-reaching. Not all cons, so to speak. And remember, the PPC are still cons. Pot, meet kettle. (Pun intended) I feel the PPC are more nationalist/libertarian than conservatives. I think that split is going to grow wider on a wide range of issues, cannabis in particular, and especially between the Libertarians and SoCon's We've spoken about this in other locations; I believe all the PPC can do right now is split the vote. I'm not even saying I have a problem with the PPC per se (other than being non-electable). You're reply is non sequitur. I was trying ot highlight that the grand conservative coalition is going to break apart, probably along the lines of the Libertarians vs the SoCon's. I think the SoCon's especially have the worst perspective concerning cannabis and that it can't be reconciled with the Libertarian perspective What is the PPC platform on pot? Bernier's used cannabis before. They're pro-cannabis

"dosed properly and with an informed mind" Can a dosed mind be reliably informed, or is it inherently biased due to the dosing? I used to not think so either until I did the research and experimentation, under a Doctor's supervision. For anyone in Calgary, I highly recommend this clinic: https://hmed.ca/ That's akin to watching TYT for advice on Conservatives. A registered medical clinic specializing in cannabis? What would be better? Google? (although I use both) How about we start with a 3rd party who isn't dependent on profits.That's still a publicly regulated health care service. As much as I think Canadian health care is terrible, offering public cannabis clinics is at least something Canada does right (even though the advice is really obvious and easily researched)

"absolute miracle medicine" Evidence req'd Research required. I've done mine. I'll have to take your word for it. Pitty it hasn't saved the world yet. Wait until it's legalized in the US. That's what I'm watching for. What about other parts of the world where it's been legal longer? Why haven't they cured all the things? It's not been legal pretty much anywhere since the 1930's. Because of Americans prohibited it, there was virtually no R&D done. It's perfectly understandable why - because none is needed - it's obvious how beneficial it is, and we could shut down all the international Big-Pharma corporations by educating people about how to self medicate with cannabis. It's about as hard as figuring out how to self medicate with coffee.

The only real reason I don't argue against pot is because to be intellectually consistent I'd have to argue against alcohol, too. Do you believe that if used in the same way alcohol is different from pot? No. That's not to say they both don't have risks, but doing the research, alcohol has a greater likelihood to induce negative side effects I don't think we'll really know the answer to this until it has been legal long enough to have actual, evidence based medical stats. Same goes for vaping - no one really knows what effects it will have long term.The research is sparse, but then again, abundant long term research in autism has yielded nothing useful either. Nothing useful, eh? I'll bet there are some legit scientists that would take offence to that statement.Cannabis Sativa (aka - Hemp) is the oldest agricultural plant on the planet. It grows anywhere human civilization is established for as long as recorded history.
Hemp and Cannabis are practically identical in their applications and in how they are grown, hemp just doesn't produce THC. Pretty much every human civilization has cultivated both hemp and cannabis - hemp for textile use, cannabis for medicinal use. Modern "science" hasn't proven it, because the science is hyper-political. Like I said, the vast majority of pharmaceuticals treat symptoms of diseases cannabis has been used to treat for millennia.

"Societies for hundreds of years before science was even invented knew cannabis was effective medicine" Which societies? You mean the ones that didn't invent the wheel, or the ones who did ritual human sacrifices? Scythians, Greeks, Romans, Thracians, English, Israelis, French, Indian. Heck, even the Americans before the 1930's used it the same way we use Tylenol. And those were some pretty crappy times to live in. Society has learned a little and advanced a little since then. IE, you can't really use the antikythera mechanism as a good example of how to design logic circuits today, as brilliant a machine as it is.While we've progressed in some ways, we've regressed in very many others. Look at what kills people these days. Mostly owing to diet and lifestyle changes, most of which are a result of some underlying psychological pathology. Why don't people live healthier lives when we have an abundance of technological miracles? Stress especially, is dangerous. Believe me I know. Forget that fact that the average life expectancy has about doubled; people commonly life past 40 these days. I'd call that significant advancement.Life expectancy is no measure of quality of life. The reason we "live longer" is because our neonatal care has vastly improved as has our ability to generate calories through genetic modification and industrial agriculture. We're not healthier because, on average, we live longer. Case in point - the vast majority of people in Western nations die because of diseases caused by poor diet and lifestyle - cancer, stroke, heart attack, Alzheimers, diabetes are among the leading causes of death in Canada/US. I make the case even the flu, which kills hundreds of thousands of old people, is really only fatal to people with compromised immunity from years of sedentary lifestyle, improper nutrition, and improper stress management. You know the average East Asian monk of the various eastern religions easily live into their 90's and hundreds. They don't have all the advances of Western science, tech and medicine - but they spend their lives disciplining their minds - the Hindu's especially use cannabis for auspicious religious ceremonies, and it's not uncharacteristic for Hindu monks in India to live much longer than the average Canadian.

"so many on "our side" hold to irrationally dogmatic and ill-informed beliefs about what is essentially a medical health panacea" says every pot-head I've ever met. I have yet to see any study that shows pot cured anything worse than a hangover. Could it be because for most of the last century it was a Schedule 1 Controlled Substance and it was illegal to research it in the US? Medial use pot has been legal for a long time, and it's only used as a pain killer. Not a cure for anything.Pain causes stress. See previous point. Pot doesn't cure stress; stress is brought on by external factors that can be alleviated more effectively than short term pot use. And as you build your tolerance, you'll just need more pot..Cannabis alone doesn't cure stress, but it's very helpful to develop practices like hypnosis, meditation and to stabilize our sleep patterns - which increase our ability to cope with stress. I do all 3. Through hypnosis I've developed a diet and exercise regimen I never would have been able to have. I meditate 20-40 minutes a day to offset the fact I never sleep more than 5 hours (my autistic girl never lets me sleep very long).

"Medicinal cannabis saved my wife, my life, and my marriage." I hope that's true. Now, and into the future. Believe me, it is. Awesome. Thanks!

"I was a good "conservative."" In my experience, political affiliation has little to no reflection on who smokes pot; I see many on both sides of the political spectrum. This is perhaps a dogma you hold yourself and project on others. It was certainly the belief I held prior when I was an ardent (and suffering) conservative. So were (and are) many of my conservative peers. I would ask how you've suffered, but more importantly I think you'd agree you suffer more under a Liberal gov't.Raising a developmentally impaired child comes with enormous suffering. So much so, the thought of having my AR's doesn't bother me half as much as contemplating what struggles my daughter will face. Non-sequitur. I don't think it will be any worse under the Liberals than anyone else - the worst part of another Trudeau term is how embarrassing it will be to call yourself a Canadian when you are overseas.

"Life isn't about enjoyment. I have very little enjoyment in my life." That's a problem, not just a symptom. "The pursuit of happiness is a pointless goal" - Jordan Peterson.
Meaning trumps happiness. Happiness in excess turns you into a hedonist when it's abundant, a nihilist when it is scarce. Ironically, that's a nihilistic comment. A smile and a laugh go a long way. I'm not opposed to happiness, I just realize it's important to pursue meaning and be grateful when happiness comes your way A healthy lifestyle includes happiness. You need it. It's good for you.I agree happiness is good for you - it's just not the point of life. Moreover, happiness, is much easier to find when one has purpose in their life and fosters a spirit of gratitude. I find I am able to be just as happy seeing my daughters laugh and smile as I am going to the range - because they are the source of meaning in my life and I more grateful and appreciate them more. Before I started taking cannabis, I couldn't see that the way I do now.

Meaning enriches life when happiness is present, and sustains it when it is gone. No one is arguing a good life doesn't require meaning, but it does require happiness in equal measure. For now I'll assume your happiness will be found in the future health of your child, and that is the other part that drives you forward.My meaning is found in the future health of my children. I think the thing that makes me happy is the thought of lying on my deathbed 80 - 90 years from now, surrounded by a small legion of descendants, and my last thought as I leave this world being "Praise God, that was a good life." You'll be pretty darn lucky if you live another 80 years. Listening to you I'm concerned you might not round out the decade. I probably wouldn't last that long if I stayed the way I was before. Working 60-70 hours a week, stressing out over my job, eating the same garbage everyone else eats, while doing nothing but mindlessly consuming. Now I appreciate the things that matter. God, family, health. Nothing else matters but those - and everything falls perfectly in place with those as the guiding principles in my life.

[Haywire1]

Yep, still nuttier than a snickers bar. Just reads to me that pot is the latest bandwagon, before that it was western separation,before that it was airbnb, before that it was bitcoin, before that it was mlp, before that it was...

Dont get me wrong, everyone has their peculiarities, but your not a different harbl, you’re still treating goc like a personal blog to fill with long, rambling nonsensical posts loaded with whatever you believe is the truth, and writing manifesto responses to anyone who tries to comment on your latest bandwagon of choice.

NickYYC, he’s not as advertised

[JustBen]

Yep, still nuttier than a snickers bar. Just reads to me that pot is the latest bandwagon, before that it was western separation,before that it was airbnb, before that it was bitcoin, before that it was mlp, before that it was...

Dont get me wrong, everyone has their peculiarities, but your not a different harbl, you’re still treating goc like a personal blog to fill with long, rambling nonsensical posts loaded with whatever you believe is the truth, and writing manifesto responses to anyone who tries to comment on your latest bandwagon of choice.

NickYYC, he’s not as advertised

If it was down to him or Trudeau for PM, I'd have a difficult time making that decision.

[RobertMcC]

This just proves that pot isn't the do all drug. I was able to accomplish alot without being stoned to do so. I talk to a few Vets on medical pot. And they ended up sounding like the stoner hippy. To the point they realize and thank me. Since they were going to far.

[RobertMcC]

Personally, I think we should be giving every single military veteran with PTSD 10-20 mg of THC every day, along with integrating mandatory psychological resilience training for all soldiers (basically training our troops how to perform what I call "combat meditation," or training to calm the mind and body in the face of overwhelming stress and anxiety - much in the way they describe in Robert Heinlein's book, Starship Troopers.



I disagree.. So you give them pot then what? You still need therapy. So many vets are jumping on the pot train, self medicating, not going to therapy, and wonder why they are not getting better. Like the medication I take, that just the boot disk to start to reprogram, It's not a cure. I still need to goto therapy to get better. You just cannot smoke and be like I'm cured.

I had a friend, he jumped on the pot train, one of those truckers, that never left the wire, but somehow developed serious PTSD that he needs to be stoned all the time to function.. He tried to get me on it all the time. He just constantly angry and for no reason. When they legalized it he was on military groups going on support a veteran buy them weed. Real class act.

I also got a good VET buddy. He smokes pot, he drinks.. Over the years, of the drunken rants, the I'm soooooo stoned man, the political rants, bitching on FB.. Hes wonder why he not getting better. Because he keeps on putting him self in situations that pisses him off, and reverting any progress he made. He starting to finally figure this out..

I never touched it and I got PTSD, actually had it for over a decade now. I overcome it by finally not allowing it to control me, accept I had PTSD, wasn't afraid of what others thought of me because it. Changed my outcome, the what I subject myself to. To many people are using pot as a crutch, and not fixing the actual problem.

But what do I know?

[SIR VEYOR]

I do have 4 kids you know. By Canadian standards that automatically makes me "nuts."

We've made up our minds. We're going to try our hands at flag polling for a year in Mexico in an expat community and see if what it's like in South East Asia.

Those "developing" countries are brutal if you are native and poor, but if you port over 20 years of Canadian type savings, you basically can live like royalty.

I’m not sure if Mexico would be a good resettlement choice, for various reasons. And Honduras Roatan, Utila, or Belize near the Blue Hole might be better choices...

But there are areas of Asia that are heavy expat as well. But a lot of checking first might be required. I know of a few “one with the land” types over there that are big on community.

[Doug_M]

Costa Rica. If you're going south, Costa Rica is the third oldest democracy in North America and has the 2nd highest literacy rate (after Canada). They have good checks and balances on their democratic system (i.e. term limits). They don't have a military but have a large national police force. They have good programs designed to attract ex-pats. It's really the only choice. All the other central american countries pale in comparison when talking about a stable, safe, democratic nation. Caribbean on one coast and Pacific on the other. A buttload of protected wilderness areas. A city with an ex-pat english speaking population and an english language newspaper.

I don't know what the requirements are now, but 15 years ago if you could prove a $1000US per month pension minimum you could qualify for official foreign pensioner status which grants you all the same entitlements (education, health care etc) as citizens.

[Camo tung]

Wow. Before you do anything else, before you concoct another scheme to meet the needs of your family, as you interpret those needs, get your own a** to a professional first. It's blatantly clear that you have absolutely zero idea what your family needs right now. You're chasing the answer backwards from what you want the outcome to be. In that sense you are of no help to your family right now...physically, mentally or spiritually. It's ok to be broken, it's not ok to do nothing about it. You have over-compensated in your hobbies, your employment and your desire to earn wealth in order to appear as the top tier family provider. That's not what your family needs. Uprooting your family now is also not what they need. Listen to what BSD and the others struggling and coping with autism are saying; pay attention to what they are telling you. Your solutions do not project stability or familial strength to them. None of your extreme training, dosing, meditation has provided an ounce of relief to your family, and in that regard you have been about as selfish as a person can be.

You're not on an uncharted course. Others have been down this path. Those that have responded previously have already told you that this won't be an easy task but they have persevered and found the bright moments, not the gloom. You need to get sorted out to be in the proper frame of mind to commit to this properly. Your earlier efforts have all been self serving, regardless of the physical effort you may have put into training for "this". All of that is self absorbed crap. You need to be honest with yourself, get your head out of your a** and recommit to what is right in front of you. Get the help required to sort yourself out so that you can be more to them. Autism isn't the end of the world. It's not some insurmountable mystery disease that causes all joy in a person's life to vanish.

Quit overthinking this. Be a man.

[Dewey Cox]

"But when I'm high it all makes sense. You just wouldn't understand"
Never heard a burned out stoner say that before...

[Magi]

Costa Rica.

What he said. I would not consider Mexico, where you're guilty until proven innocent, an option.