1. #12521
    Senior Member RangeBob's Avatar
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    Senior Member RangeBob's Avatar
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    Senior Member RangeBob's Avatar
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    A man washed up on a beach after a shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed-up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island.

    After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset.

    One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance. As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.

    The sheepdog, ever-protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.

    A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was Nancy Pelosi. That evening, the man brought Nancy to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze, perfect for a night of romance.

    Pretty soon, the man started to get those feelings again. He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Nancy and told her he hadn't had sex for months. Nancy batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.

    He said, 'Take the dog for a walk'.

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  7. #12524
    Senior Member RangeBob's Avatar
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    A couple in their early thirties decide to spend an afternoon at the zoo on a warm spring day.

    Man is wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and running shoes. The wife decides to dress up a bit with a summer dress and high heels.

    As they walk past the gorilla exhibit, they both notice that a large male gorilla is staring at the wife intently. The husband reaches down and lifts the hem of the wife’s dress a few inches, showing more of her shapely legs. The gorilla runs over and stares intently through the bars. Th3 wife sees this, and leans forward to show the huge ape some of her cleavage.

    The ape goes nuts and is hanging from a rail with one hand, making unintelligible noises that definitely showed his interest. The wife finds this humorous and drops the shoulder straps on her dress, showing even more of her femininity. Of course the gorilla goes wild and is bouncing from bar to bar in the caged area.

    The wife continues teasing the huge gorilla and lifts the front of her dress, showing her tiny white thong. Again, the gorilla responds with very course and intense shaking of the bars.

    As the husband and wife start to leave, they pass the staff entrance to the gorilla cage. The husband grabs the woman’s arm and pushes her through the door and into the cage. The wife suddenly realizes that she is next to an aroused and agitated gorilla and looks at her husband in panic.

    “Now” says the husband “tell him you have a headache.”

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    Senior Member RangeBob's Avatar
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    If Bloomberg continues to spend on advertising at his current rate, he'll blow through $2 billion of his $60 billion fortune by the time the election rolls around.

    Those are Canada Firearms Registry numbers!

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  11. #12526
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    Mr. Haven said, "This has got to be the most ... ostentatious thing I've ever seen in my life. I'm astonished the toilet seats aren't painted in gold like Donald Trump's!"

    "I tried that," Michael Bloomberg told him earnestly, "But it was so damned cold every time I sat down I had it stripped back off. You don't think the vibrating faux-mink lining is an adequate substitute?"

  12. #12527
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    Jake: Are we gonna set out to restore the Right to Bear Arms?
    CCFR Jason: I guess that's about it.
    Jake: All by ourselves?
    CCFR Jason: Not that we'd turn down any help cheerfully offered.
    Jake: Nobody is gonna offer no help, cheerful or any other way.
    CCFR Jason: I think you're probably right, Jake.
    -- Support Your Local CCFR (1969)

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    Senior Member RangeBob's Avatar
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  18. #12530
    Senior Member Waterloomike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RangeBob View Post
    Jake: Are we gonna set out to restore the Right to Bear Arms?
    CCFR Jason: I guess that's about it.
    Jake: All by ourselves?
    CCFR Jason: Not that we'd turn down any help cheerfully offered.
    Jake: Nobody is gonna offer no help, cheerful or any other way.
    CCFR Jason: I think you're probably right, Jake.
    -- Support Your Local CCFR (1969)
    Every huge success is littered with failure, blood, sweat and tears.

    I would hazard a guess that government, from any number of reasons, is also due for a failure......................oh.................wa it............


    Allow our Rightful Liberty or .....

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