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  1. #61
    Senior Member RangeBob's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RangeBob View Post
    I can't recall off hand what situations this was meant to deal with but it made sense at the time. They had our keys too.
    Actually, the most common occurrence was when one of the kids came home first but had lost their keys. They'd go to the neighbour and 'borrow' the keys to their house.

  2. #62
    Super Moderator Rory McCanuck's Avatar
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    In Genius Move, Trump Supports Impeachment, Forcing Democrats To Oppose
    November 18th, 2019

    https://babylonbee.com/news/in-geniu...s-to-oppose-it


    article-5141-1.jpg


    WASHINGTON, D.C.—The impeachment hearings have been thrown into chaos after President Trump announced that he supports impeachment, forcing Democrats to oppose their own impeachment inquiry.

    "Impeachment? I'm for it. Great idea. Best idea, maybe ever," he said, adding that he's "getting kinda sick of all this winning anyway."

    "Sure, why not. Impeach me. I love it. Whatever. Now I'm gonna go watch Joker again. Great film. What's that guy's name? Phoenix something. Bob Phoenix, that's it. Tremendous actor---absolutely perfect."

    Democrats quickly condemned his statements. Pelosi said, "It's clear that Trump wants to be impeached because he's not good at being president. Well, we're going to show him a thing or two by forcing him to stay in the White House and finish out his term."

    "And Joker is alt-right propaganda," she said, falling for Trump's ploy to make Dems condemn one of the most successful, beloved films of the year.

    One pundit on CNN suggested that Trump is supporting impeachment at the request of Putin or the guy from Ukraine or "whichever conspiracy thing we're pushing this month, I forget."

    At publishing time, Democrats had also withdrawn from the 2020 race to teach Trump a lesson.
    Don't blame me, I didn't vote for that clown. Oct 20, '15

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  4. #63
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    Bob gun in his racism laboratory lol. I had a good laugh.
    Lifetime Member PAPRC, SHA
    Member NFA, NRA, SRAC, FMFG, SFC

  5. #64
    Super Moderator Rory McCanuck's Avatar
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    CNN Attacks Babylon Bee: 'The Internet Is Only Big Enough For One Fake News Site'


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    January 7th, 2020

    U.S.—CNN has slammed the world's best satire site, The Babylon Bee, after CNN executives realized that "fake news" articles on the website were getting at least as much social media traction as their own.

    "There ain't room in this internet for the both of us," growled one CNN anchor on the air Monday evening. "There simply aren't enough people out there for us to fool with our fake news stories and The Babylon Bee to fool with their satire. There isn't enough clickbait and outrage traffic to go around."

    Reporters at the media outlet also pointed out that their news was "much faker" than The Babylon Bee's.

    "They're obviously amateurs over there at The Bee," said Brian Stelter. "A lot of times, their reporting comes true. If you're gonna do fake news, do it right -- 100% fake, guaranteed, 24/7. They really should learn from the pros over here at CNN."

    "Stay out of our territory," he growled.
    Don't blame me, I didn't vote for that clown. Oct 20, '15

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  7. #65
    Super Moderator Rory McCanuck's Avatar
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    Authorities Investigating Dangerous Breach In Hollywood Bubble

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    https://babylonbee.com/news/authorit...llywood-bubble


    January 7th, 2020

    HOLLYWOOD, CA—Authorities say they are investigating the circumstances which led to a dangerous tear in Hollywood's protective bubble that keeps celebrities from encountering the festering disgust everyone outside of Hollywood has for them.

    Security experts say the breach caused celebrities to encounter opinions from the real world for the very first time. Hollywood's bubble has been carefully constructed over several decades, keeping the fragile, easily spooked celebs from having to face what life might be like without millions of dollars and constant, sycophantic praise.

    "People don't like us? This is the first I'm hearing about that," said a puzzled Taylor Swift. "Maybe we should change our attitude... but no. It is the people who are wrong."

    "The guy with the funny accent was up there saying something about people not caring about our opinions," said Brad Pitt. "It is sad when people are so deluded like that. I hope Ricky gets the help he needs."

    Emergency crews rushed to the breach in the bubble and patched it up, assuring panicked celebrities that Ricky Gervais would be deported and no further critical thinking or introspection would be required on their part.
    Don't blame me, I didn't vote for that clown. Oct 20, '15

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  9. #66
    Senior Member Zinilin's Avatar
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    When I read the Brian Stelter quote I heard Mark Dice.

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  11. #67
    Moderator kennymo's Avatar
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    That was a hell of a speech, lol. Tom Hanks’ facial expressions say it all....
    Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.

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  13. #68
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    delete

  14. #69
    Super Moderator Rory McCanuck's Avatar
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    Ralph Northam: 'A Militia Assembling To Defend Their Rights Against Tyranny Is A Dangerous First In American History


    article-5443-1.jpg


    January 21st, 2020
    https://babylonbee.com/news/ralph-no...erican-history


    RICHMOND, VA—Governor Ralph Northam condemned the group of gun owners who assembled yesterday, calling the concept "simply un-American."

    "A militia assembling to defend their rights against tyranny is a dangerous first in American history," he said to a group of reporters, still teary-eyed from the tragic lack of violence at yesterday's rally. "This is not what America was founded on. It is not what our forefathers would have wanted."

    "This well-regulated militia having the right to bear arms is diametrically opposed to everything the Founding Fathers wanted for our country." The governor said that Washington, Jefferson, and "those other guys" all probably did not like guns very much and when forced to fight would have used pointy sticks.

    "It was not until the Trump administration that Americans started liking guns."

    Northam said that we could have a better idea what the founders would have thought about guns, but sadly, "they did not see fit to leave us a document by which we might guard our country."
    Don't blame me, I didn't vote for that clown. Oct 20, '15

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  16. #70
    Senior Member RangeBob's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rory McCanuck View Post
    Ralph Northam: 'A Militia Assembling To Defend Their Rights Against Tyranny Is A Dangerous First In American History
    Two that come immediately to mind
    - War of Independence, 1776
    - Battle of Athens, 1944

    Then there are dozens of political protests the past decade, with people carrying rifles. Even a couple of Trump rallys. They're usually asked to stay outside though.

    And of course the recent Texas governor Greg Abbott awarding the Governor's Medal of Courage to Jack Wilson had people CCWing all over the place. Certainly Jack Wilson was armed. Rumor has it that the governor was too.


    EDIT: I couldn't believe the text, and then :: Oh bloody ... it's babylonbee

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